Smarked for Death – WWE Superstars 4/23/09

Smarked for Death
WWE Superstars April 23, 2009

Welcome to Smarked for Death!  I, Kevin Hellions, will write up about the weekly wrestling shows in a smart mark yet respectful manner.  To start, this week’s episode of WWE Superstars!

This is the second episode of the new and unnecessary WWE show.  Superstars will feature wrestlers from all three WWE brands in a spotlight match for each brand every week.  The first two episodes have furthered already existing storylines but nothing has taken place to make this show a must see every week.

The first match this week saw Rey Mysterio and CM Punk team up against the Big Show and Kane.  Three of these men are on Smackdown now, but WWE isn’t acknowledging draft switches until next week.  Kane gets the win for his team after he chokeslams Punk.  Punk is the current holder of Money in the Bank briefcase and Rey is the Intercontinental champion.  So the logic here must be to have them be destroyed to push these two up and comers.  Seven foot, three to five hundred pound, multiple time champions up and comers Kane and the Big Show.  If WWE writers are willing to commit to a push for either big man, then I would be all for their victory here.  However, both men have been pushed and de-pushed, switched between face and heel, switched brands, so many times that why would this time be any different?

Next was Finlay and Hornswoggle against Tyson Kidd and Natalya.  Finlay had to hit Tyson with the shillelagh to set up Horn’s tadpole splash for the win.  Finlay, who has been in wrestling for decades and won titles all over the world, needs the help of a foreign object to beat a kid(d) and a woman.  At least little Horn beat Natalya by himself last week.  Good thing Hornswoggle is being moved to Raw.  He can win matches on his own.  Apparently this Finlay rookie needs some more seasoning on ECW.
Following the match Finlay led the British crowd in a rendition of “When Irish Eyes Are Smiling”.  The Brits knew the words better than Ireland’s own.

John Cena cut a promo on Edge.  Cena, a plea to you.  Please be more aware of your surroundings.  You compare yourself and Edge to the rivalry between the Yankees and the Red Sox.  Normally this would be a good promo.  Two things to consider though.  One, you’re in England.  No one cares about American baseball teams.  Compare yourself to Manchester United and, I don’t know, some team they hate.  See!  I don’t know sports teams in other countries.  Works both ways.  Second, you, John Cena, are giving this promo on WGN America, which is based out of Chicago.  Couldn’t you have thrown a bone towards the White Sox and Cubs fans?  CM Punk was in the same building as you.  Chicago Made Punk.  Just ask him a couple things about the Windy City, he’ll help you out.

Finally, Edge vs. Kofi Kingston was the main event for Superstars.  Possibly one of Kofi’s best matches and so far my match of the week.  I would like to say a Match of the Year candidate but it wasn’t and also, WWE has edited my comments.  Poor Matt Striker.  While this was a good match, there’s not much to say about it.  Edge got the win with a spear.  Both men had some good moves, good spots, and nice counters.  It was a sit back and enjoy match, which I did.  Had something been on the line, a title perhaps, it would have given this match that little something extra to go from good to great.  Edge is about to have a world title match on a card that Kofi isn’t even on, of course Edge was going to win.  The lack of drama hurt a good match that had potential.  Hopefully these two men will fight one day in a match with some significance.  The chemistry is there between the two.

That’s all for today’s Smarked for Death.  I’ll see you on the next night of wrestling action.

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