Smarked for Death
WWE Monday Night Raw
June 8, 2009
On today’s episode Legacy destroys Batista leaving us all to wonder why WWE would put the title on a man who is about to be out for months due to injury. Maybe if Batista didn’t tell everyone that he “walks alone” all the time, he wouldn’t get his ass kicked. When your entrance music tells your opponent that you don’t have any back up, its pretty easy to set up a three on one assault.
So Batista is taken out, Raw is without a champion, and just when we all think Randy Orton will be given the title, Triple H makes his return. No one has made so many dramatic returns since the over excited woman at the Wal-Mart customer service desk. (Did that joke work? I debated on it for awhile.) Trips believes in an eye for an eye, or some other body part and nearly breaks Orton’s neck. Really, if this attack is supposed to be memorable and devastating then Orton should be off of TV for at least a month. I’m sure he’ll be present on the upcoming three hour Raw, with no signs of injury however.
The other big story was Vickie Guerrero’s sudden departure from WWE. She quits on air as GM of Raw, then word leaks out that she is gone from WWE. I’m pretty sure it’s not a wellness policy violation. For what seemed to be a lame attempt to help her and her family in the wake of Eddie’s death, Vickie turned into one of WWE’s greatest heels. With two words, no not “suck it”, but “excuse me”, Vickie got arenas around the world ready to kill her. All of this with no acting or wrestling training. I think it will be years before we realize how good she was in this role.
Speaking of the Guerrero family, WWE needs to put Chavo Guerrero in charge of Raw. It makes sense within the previous storylines, gives Chavo something to do, and all current storylines can continue with no needed changes due to having a new GM.
Kofi Kingston, Matt Hardy, William Regal and MVP are having the most underrated feud in wrestling right now over the US title. It elevates the US belt, gives four of the best wrestlers on the show a storyline, and provides at least one or two great matches every week. There is enough potential and back story with all four men to have this rivalry last through the summer.
John Cena fails to gain any sort of revenge against the Miz because the Big Show attacks him yet again. Until Miz hits both Show and Cena with a steel chair. So Cena looks like the world’s against him but he keeps fighting, Show looks like a giant heel, and the Miz gets brought up to that main event level by being a chicken shit that the audience loves to boo. How is Raw getting to be this good? If only something could be done with the tag team titles…
Priceless pins Carlito and Primo to become number one contenders for the unified tag team titles! Finally! With these two teams and the Hart Dynasty on ECW, a three team second generation (or third) could be brewing. If only Smackdown also had a second generation team. If only they would give Cryme Tyme someone to feud with. Odd that the only bad spot on Raw also involved second generation wrestlers.
Santino Marella, Goldust, and Festus (with Hornswoggle) beat The Brian Kendrick, Jamie Noble, and Chavo Guerrero when Santino rolled up Noble for the pin. This was a match of the future, “future endeavors” club. Santino may have stumbled his way into being WWE for life, but the rest of the men are only as good as their last push. Which has been how long ago for any of them? The face team needs to take notes from the Oddities to see how long a comedy team/faction lasts in WWE. All of the men have potential to be so much more. And we do need comedy matches on the cards. But it seems like such a waste of talent, especially Chavo and TBK.
Oh yeah, there was a Divas match too. Merely a set up to the Maryse vs. Mickie James match at the next PPV. Mickie, when you come out to the ring in heels and a short dress in this WWE TV-PG era we know you’re not fighting anyone. Even Maryse knew.
Fingers crossed that next week’s three hour Raw continues to bring the greatness.