Smarked for Death – Monday Night Raw October 5, 2009.

Smarked for Death – Monday Night Raw October 5, 2009.

We are live from Wilks-Barre, PA tonight!

So our big story now is that if John Cena, the new WWE champion, loses at Bragging Rights, he has to leave Raw.  He can go to one of the other shows though – Smackdown or ECW.  Ah, ECW.  Yes Raw it does exist.  Lets look at what’s been done with ECW lately…

…and we’re back!  That’s right, nothing.  Hell in a Cell PPV had zero matches from ECW.  Drew McIntyre gets on the card, but no match with Christian, the ECW champion, against anyone.  Then the first match on this week’s edition of Raw is an all Diva match.  With no ECW Divas.  “But the Bellas were in the match!”  Please, the Bellas have no real home.  They appear where needed, do nothing, and then yell out “hey look at us, we look the same!”  No Katie Lea (most under used Diva), no Tiffany.

But this was the controversial Raw, featuring our guest host, Ben Rothlesberger.  I had to copy/paste that one.  Seriously, having Santino butcher Ben’s name was like having an insult comic perform for the Freaks (1932).  Too easy.   Little known fact, Hornswoggle appears in both Raw and Freaks.

John Cena tells us that he and Randy Orton are in the midst of one of the greatest rivalries of all time.  No John, no.  Now I don’t know what you have to do to get your BIG rivalry, to be remembered for generations, but this isn’t it.  Piper and Hogan, Flair and Sting, Rock and Austin, Raven and Dreamer, Wahoo and Valentine.  Maybe that’s it.  Orton should break Cena’s leg and come out wearing a shirt announcing that he has done it.  Your older fans hate Cena anyways and the newer ones will think it’s the most original and cool idea.  Let me know your thoughts on rivalries.

Jack Swagger claims he’ll go the rest of the year without being pinned.  This is possible.  Not that many Raws left in 2009.  So many people on the roster, there’s no guarantee he’ll make it on a PPV.  Remember the last time someone went on a streak?  His name was Goldberg.  And he rarely talked.  Something Jack Thwagger should also imitate.

Also, can Swagger finally get a cool name for his finishing move other than the “Gut Wrench Power Bomb”?  The Gut Check?  The Monkey Wrench?  (He does beat his chest like an ape.)  Write in your suggestions.

I still have no idea where the Chavo and Hornswoggle storyline is going.  I’m all for the slow burn in a wrestling storyline, but this is not the place.  Maybe if Cena and Orton had a slow build to anything I’d call what they have a rivalry.  Not a there’s a PPV coming up and we have to fight, so lets pull a gimmick out of the hat and see how we’ll change the match this month.  Hell in a Cell!  Iron Man match!  Tuxedo match!  Diva on a pole!

Miz actually wins the US Title.  After numerous PPV matches, the belt finally changes on Raw.  Surprising, but welcome.  Miz will get himself and the belt over with promos alone.  Add in matches with one of WWE’s fastest rising stars and this could be a dare-I-say awesome title reign.

D-Generation X is the most dominate tag team.  Interesting.  Triple H has held the tag title once.  Shawn has had it four times, with three different partners.  Neither has held the title with each other.  Now granted, every so often DX decides to kill the tag team division in one night and then it takes a year to be built back up again.  But without belts I cant put DX on the same level of great tag teams like the Freebirds, Road Warriors, Edge and Christian, Team 3D.  Even La Resistance held the belts 4 times for almost a year total.

And, true to form, the tag team champions get pinned.  Not only are DX so dominant, they don’t even need or want the tag team titles (Unified at that!), but the Steelers are more dominant than the current tag champions.

WWE, thank you for building up the US title, finally.  But you have the tag belts and a dormant cruiserweight title that could bring even more to your show.  Why not work on those belts too?

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