In the winter of 2005, specifically 12/12/05, the following e-mail exchange took place. I was attending college at SUNY Potsdam in way upstate NY. In between classes I signed in on a computer at the library, left to go to class, then signed in on my own computer hours later. During that time a very unexpected and unexplained e-mail had arrived.
From “smith108” (full e-mail address deleted for privacy)
I was just settleing down to this computer when i happened upon what I
beleive to be your cookie. The cookie is large and round, and appears to
be filled with Macadamia nuts, or perhpaps cheap replicas of them. At any
rate, I have not eaten your cookie, and will gladly hold it for you should
you wnat it back. But i must warn you, you must contact me within 3 days
because otherwise the urge to devour the cookie will become to great to
resist and you will have only the remnants of a tattered white bag to
collect. Best wishes,
the cookie monster
How does one respond to such a thing? In the only way a literature major could:
While I appreciate your concern, it was not my cookie to lose. The cookie was there before me and apparently after me. It was a cookie without a home. I had just eaten when I first met the cookie, so I had no home to give it. Please, give it a room in your stomach tonight, and show it the love that at least two of us denied it before your kind hearted self came along.
(confused over what happened in the library after I left, and what led to this chain of events, but very amused)
Looking back, I should have addressed it to Dearest Cookie Monster. I never returned for the cookie, although I’ve eaten many since. Also, I still have no idea who it was that e-mailed me. Finding this out could have changed my life, or I could have eaten a cookie. But it was one of those random amusing things in life that has led me to doing the same. I wrote 100s of unmemorable e-mails throughout my time in college, but only a few last years later. Add a little spice to someone’s day. Offer them a cookie.