Smarked for Death – WWE NXT 9/14/10.

We are live from Detroit this week.

Show starts with Dolph Ziggler and Kaitlyn vs. Primo and AJ.  Kaitlyn continues to get pushed, even though she has no talent.  Well she has chest talent but that’s it.  Kaitlyn tries to tag in Dolph’s leg.  Dolph helps her to understand tag team rules.  Which is ironic, because I thought Kaitlyn would be familiar with tag teaming.  (Cheap joke!)

AJ is a watered down Mickie James.  Less thick.  She was also homeless for 3 years.  There’s only one reason why a young cute clean looking girl would be homeless for 3 years.  And the girl better learn how to suck a dick if she’s going to last in WWE.

Dolph hits the Zig Zag on Primo for the pin.  Dolph and Kaitlyn celebrate, and Vickie gets very jealous.  NXT continues to become the Kaitlyn show.  Remember kids, big boobs get you anywhere.

A special look at Maxine.  Maxine’s DNA is a United Nations gangbang.  Also, Hawaiian is not the same as American.  I’ll give her this one, but her phrasing could have been better.

Tonight’s Diva challenge is a Joke-Off.  I would rather watch the Jerk-Off which they’re already dressed for.  Jamie and Maxine actually understand heel work.  So well that we get a cat fight between AJ and Maxine.  I can’t believe Miss Homeless tore up a twenty.

Jamie wins the challenge.  Michael Cole has had it and bangs a gong?!  This might be the worst show in wrestling.  There’s a reason why GLOW was so campy.  Because it HAD to be!  With all of the money and talent behind the WWE empire, this is the best they can come up with?  It takes a stunning fuck-up to make a show about 6 sexy women unwatchable.

Aksana vs. Jamie is next.  Jamie gets the pin with a roll up.  She has already shown more wrestling talent than her pros, the Bella twins.  The Bellas are this week’s wardrobe malfunction.  The NXT Escort service celebrates.

A video package on Naomi plays.

Vickie Guerrero yells at Dolph for celebrating with Kaitlyn.  Vickie actually looks like she’s lost a good amount of weight.  I still wouldn’t call her a cougar, but she should be commended for her work ethic.

Divas Obstacle Course!  Kaitlyn has to be told to stay behind the yellow line.  Help the Divas out WWE, make it a velvet rope.  Vickie runs the obstacle course to show Kaitlyn how its done.  Vickie messes up a lot, has a break down, and cries her way off.  She gets a time (official?) of 1.27 minutes.

Kaitlyn poses at the end of the course.  Well, the girl knows when she’s on camera I’ll give her that.  Once again WWE proves that these courses are rigged from the start.  There’s no way that Maxine could be that strong and graceful, yet trip on the balance beam.  Jamie runs through the course too quickly and has to stall at the top so she can (scripted) lose.  Naomi trips up on everything.  Its not even convincing!  Naomi takes almost as long as Vickie.   Kaitlyn wins  the challenge.  Vickie is actually happy and celebrates with her.

Michael Cole bangs the gong.  Where did this gong come from?!  Cole says this show is ridiculous and quits NXT.

Proving how low WWE thinks of these Rookie Divas, NXT has now become the Michael Cole show.  Sara Del Rey, Cheerleader Melissa, and MsChif throw things at the TV, if they weren’t already.

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