This begins a new era of Friday Night Smackdown! The first episode on Syfy. A great chance to bring in new viewers! Or not.
Smackdown starts out with terrible new theme music. That’s alright. None of the WWE shows has great music right now.
MVP vs. Dolph Ziggler for the Intercontinental championship is a no contest after interference from the Nexus. The Big Show tries to stop Nexus, as does John Cena. It takes the combined might of the Big Show and a steel chair to scare off Nexus. Matches are made for later tonight. Wade Barrett makes the matches, because he is friends with the president of Syfy. Because they are both English. 51 million people in that country, and these two blokes happen to live next door. Crazy irony.
Nexus hates Intercontinental title matches. Or the possibility of seeing a good match. This will be the only possibility of the night. Between the lack of good matches tonight and the abysmal last episode of NXT, the WRESTLING part of WWE on Syfy is off to a soaring start.
Tonight’s episode of Smackdown will feature a 3 man announce team. Because Michael Cole equals ratings.
LayCool, Maryse and Alicia Fox vs. Natalya, Kelly Kelly and the Bella Twins is next. During the match the announcers yet again hype the no longer employed by WWE Mick Foley’s new book. TNA employees don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Hornswoggle tries to drag Layla underneath the ring, but Michelle McCool superkicks Horn. This is the greatest thing McCool has done in her over 5 years tenure in WWE.
Natalya wins the match for her team, after she makes Maryse tap out to the Sharp Shooter. This no doubt means she will lose at the PPV. She has blonde hair, big fake boobs and dropped her last name. What more does a girl have to do in WWE to get some attention? My guess is forget all wrestling knowledge.
Jack Swagger proclaims himself King of Oklahoma. This entire segment could have been amazing at half the length. Edge comes out and says he’s on a mission to rid the WWE of anything stupid. He starts by spearing Swagger’s Soaring Eagle mascot. Edge’s never ending mission will guarantee himself a spot on every WWE program for eternity.
Nexus vs. Big Show.
Not a good wrestling match by any means, but a good story within the match. Big Show is so powerful it takes all 5 men, each taking a limb, to defeat the Giant. This simple thing made the Big Show look like a god. Thus, Nexus became the god killers and looked that much stronger for it. Best booking of the night.
Somehow a 3 time world champion known as CM Punk has a jobber match with the Undertaker. Even when Punk was getting in some offense, the outcome of this match was never in doubt. Duane Gill gets in more moves.
Something happened with Alberto Del Rio, Rey Mysterio and a chihuahua. I had to walk away during this segment. Don’t tell me what I missed, I feel it would not be worth it.
Super-Orton brings his bag of RKO’s for Cody Rhodes (and pins him) and Drew McIntyre (just for fun) in this special Smackdown appearance. Sheamus comes out and debuts the fiery red hand of Ireland. This may be the greatest thing Sheamus has ever done. Push the hand, and Sheamus will quiet any doubters. Including myself.
Where the hell is Kofi Kingston?!
Kane vs. John Cena ended in a no contest, because these two men are both main eventers and there is a PPV in 2 days. Nexus and the Undertaker get involved. Undertaker and Kane fight. Undertaker poses with the urn and Paul Bearer.
The Dead Man is better than the Zombie. If Syfy wants something sci-fi on WWE programming than its not going to get any better than the Undertaker. Good call in having the last 20 minutes of the show focus on his match at Hell in a Cell.
Speaking of HIAC, remember kids, if you want to see any wrestling with your Wrestling, you need to order the pay per views. Maybe. We hope.