Smarked for Death – WWE Superstars 12/9/10.

Reviewing the WWE’s least popular and least written show.  Which means we usually get some good wrestling on it.  What’s going on this week?

Tyler Reks vs. JTG

Surprised JTG kept his job after Shad was fired, even though they’re weren’t teaming up at the time.  JTG would be a star in a WWE Cruiserweight division.  Tyler should be a huge crazy heel but for some reason the pieces aren’t fitting yet.  Is it him or does he just need a writer to have his back?  JTG pulls out dice to roll the dice on his next move.  In related news Triple H will bring a can of Pedigree dog food to the ring.  Tyler hits the burning hammer, previously known as the most awesome finishing move available for your create a wrestler in all WWE video games.  Real quick match, which hopefully is showing faith in Tyler.

Curt Hawkins vs. Trent Barreta.

Both men recently lost their tag team partners due to WWE budget cuts.  They might make a good team together, but the story behind tonight’s match is that these two wrestlers are childhood friends now feuding because there’s only room for one of them at the top.  Guys, you both have a long long way to go before you’re near the top.  Not even mid card level yet.  Last week, Hawkins had words for Barreta, comparing him to Headbanger Mosh.  That may be the way to go with Superstars.  If you’re watching Superstars chances are you’re a hardcore wrestling fan and not a casual one.  This is a surprisingly good match, and shows why WWE needed ECW.  Some sort of minor league show.  NXT isn’t quite it.  Holy shit!  Hawkins dumps Barreta over the top rope and Trent comes down head first on the steel steps.  That could have been a concussion or a gusher of blood.  Trent’s lucky to still be able to compete in this match.  Barreta hits a dropkick “with authority”.  Someone’s a fan of WWE’s old online card game.  Barreta hits a springboard dropkick to the back of Hawkins head.  This is an awesome indie match taking place in a WWE ring.  This will be a forgotten match in front of thousands of people that could be a match of the year in front of 200 people.  Barreta hits an Asai moonsault on Hawkins onto the arena floor.  “Do I have your attention now?!”  Barreta still only gets a two count.  Hawkins blocks Trent’s Dudebuster DDT.  Hawkins goes for Taste of Pain, Barreta reverses it and finally gets the Dudebuster DDT for the pin.

Wow.  That may have been match of the week.

Zack Ryder vs. Ezekiel Jackson.

Scott Standford and CM Punk call the match for the Raw brand.

Zack Ryder formerly teamed with Curt Hawkins, good to see both guys on the show as they both deserve  more in their careers.  Jackson’s former tag team partner won the WWE Tag Team Titles this week.  Punk notes that Ezekiel’s TitanTron video features him beating up Zack Ryder.  A lot.  Tonight will most likely be no different.  “Punk what do you do against a man that big?”  “Throw a fireball.”  Punk, do you not realize that Jackson was created in the fires that formed the Earth?!  Zack rakes the eyes, cuts down the knees of Jackson and hits a dropkick.  Some good and surprising offense out of Ryder.  Not that he’s not capable of a great match, he had many on WWE-ECW, but Jackson is higher on the WWE totem pole right now.  Jackson hits his signature arm jiggle clothesline then his version of a Rock Bottom called the Book of Ezekiel for the pin.  Jackson could be huge if he stays smart, or we could see the next Ahmed Johnson.

These reviews don’t review the reviews that WWE has on their show of the events of other shows.  Because if you’re reading this column, you already know what took place on those shows.

Eve (Torres) vs. Alicia Fox.

WWE, where the women only sometimes have last names.  The crowd is much more into this match than the better Barreta vs. Hawkins match.  But hot women have that effect.  Both Thursday night wrestling shows had women in the main event.  Never before.  The Divas are really busting their (well formed) asses to put on a great match.  “Alicia is a suplex machine.”  Does Taz know this?  Eve hits a moonsault on Alicia for the pin.  An impressive match, but something was missing to make it memorable.  Could be due to the Impact main event which was much better even with its flaws.  Or that the best match of the show was in the middle of the show.

Superstars was well worth the time this week.  Skip through the WWE Rewinds and enjoy a half hour of wrestling.

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