Smarked for Death – WWE Monday Night Raw 12/27/10.

The last Raw of 2010 is underway from Albany NY!  What will it foretell of WWE’s plans for 2011?  What wrestlers were able to make it to the arena in defiance of the East Coast Blizzard?  Tune in and find out!

Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers, after last week’s actions CM Punk is not on the announce team for this week.  Not only have the WWE Superstars arrived in Albany in spite of the snow, but it looks like the fans have shown up in force as well.  Cena of course brings up last week’s attack by CM Punk.  Interesting note, “Cena sucks” and “CM Punk” chants sound very similar.  Cena says this is all his fault for spilling Punk’s diet soda.  Not the first time a feud began due to spilled beverages.  Footage of Punk hitting Cena with a chair on Smackdown as well.  These Raw and Smackdown crossovers will probably continue through WrestleMania.  CM Punk comes out to give something more to this new rivalry than a spilled soda.  Punk says that while Cena was “fired” he showed that he was not a man of his word.  He is also a violent man who buried Wade Barrett under two dozen chairs.  Punk brings so much storyline contiunity into this that there should be an asterisk from the Marvel editor directing the watcher to when these events took place.  Apparently Batista and CM Punk are good friends.  Probably draw straws to decide who gets to fuck which Diva.  Punk is here to expose the real John Cena and expose the phony Hustle Loyalty Respect credo that he claims to live by.  This is a great idea already.  From Paradise Lost to the latest floppy comics on the rack, a good villain is one that the fan can agree with up to a point.  And CM Punk makes some excellent points.  Chicago’s own promises a big surprise for tonight.  Can. Not. Wait.

Ted DiBiase is already in the ring.  At least his theme music is playing, but that doesn’t look good for Ted.

Ted DiBiase (with Maryse) vs. Santino (1/2 Tag Team Champions, with Tamina)

Ted misses a dropkick and Santino pounces on the mistake to score the pin.  A nothing match, only used to fill time so the comedy segment can begin.  Santino gives Tamina a cobra for Christmas.  The heels try to attack but are stopped by a double salute splash and a double cobra.  Maryse needs to remember to wear pants during these battles.  Or WWE needs to get back to the Attitude era smut.

Miz gives Alex Riley a pep talk before his match with John Morrison.  Miz then hypes himself up for tonight’s match.  John Morrison shows up, these locker rooms must not have doors.  Morrison throws a few stipulations out there for tonight’s match.  Miz is a little too excited about the potential for Morrison to lose his title match.  Thus continuing the booking of Miz as weak champion.

Alex Riley vs. John Morrison.  If Riley wins, Morrison loses his title shot.  If Morrison wins he gets to choose when his title match takes place and what kind of match it will be.

For the second week in a row Riley has the new briefcase.  Something weird going on there.  Average match so far.  Miz finally goes too far and is booted from ringside.  Miz’s fear of Morrison winning builds up John more than a win will.  Morrison hits a flying Chuck and a running knee to the jaw for the pin.  Morrison decides he wants his title shot next week in a falls count anywhere match.  Great booking by WWE.  A week to get fans excited for this match and after Morrison’s last falls count anywhere match was such an event, this match can only be a classic.

The backstage talking segment of the show begins.  Miz and Alex Riley argue.  CM Punk wants the cameramen to get good footage of tonight’s surprise.  Tyson Kidd threatens Daniel Bryan, which could be a good series of matches.  The Bellas continue to collect a paycheck.  Randy Orton is interviewed in the locker rooms, which definitely don’t have doors on them in this WWE version of Earth.

Josh Matthews takes King’s spot while Lawler gets ready for his match.

Mark Henry vs. Tyson Kidd (with Jackson Andrews)

The announcers call David Hart Smith dead weight.  Is he still with WWE?  Did he get fired with Kaval?  (Yeah, just checked, Smith is still employed.)  Tyson says that he will be the next United States champion.  Might be a good idea to watch some recent Ted DiBiase matches and do the opposite.  Also might be a good idea to not get caught in Mark Henry’s arms and fall victim to the World’s Strongest Slam.  Henry easily pins Kidd.  Andrews gets in the ring and tries to make an impact on Mark Henry.  Not happening, as Henry gives a two for one deal on Slams.  In theory, Henry should go after the US title now.

Michael Cole says the Miz undressed Alex Riley in the locker room.  Really hope he meant that Miz gave Riley a dressing down.  Miz says he’s the greatest in WWE history.  He deserves the belt, but he also deserves to not be booked as an annoying chicken shit heel.  Lawler comes out in street clothes after losing his luggage in the rush through the blizzard.

The Miz (WWE Champion, with Alex Riley) vs. Jerry The King Lawler

Miz bumps like a respectful wrestling fan for the Hall of Famer.  While WWE is building up their younger guys its a strange site to not see one of the established main eventers in a feud with the champion.  Lawler deserves all of this, but it is surprising.  Josh Matthews tries to put over the King by pointing out the fact that Miz is most likely half Lawler’s age.  Not the first time King has wrestled around with someone half his age.  Morrison comes out, which distracts Miz for a moment.  A few mistakes later and Lawler can finally begin his dramatic comeback.  Riley continues to raise the ire of Miz.  While Alex distracts the ref, John Morrison takes out the Miz.  The King wins by countout and Miz continues to look weak.

From one king to another, we go to Sheamus massaging his crown.  CM Punk has a nice little chat with his royal highness.

Natalya and the King return to the commentators table.  Natalya has brought the puppies for the King.

Melina and Alicia Fox vs. Eve and Gail Kim

Quick heel turn for Melina.  What goes through Alicia’s mind.  Hey, we were enemies last week but now that you turned heel we’re cool.  Gail is not only wrestling for once but also looks stunning.  Maybe she’ll get a well deserved push in 2011.  If not, at least she’ll be well rested for her inevitable return to TNA.  RhiannAlica has a new look this week.  Gail and Eve have matching gear, which would mean something if there was a WWE Diva tag team division.  Or a WWE Divas division.  Melina hits the Sunset Split on Gail for the pin.  Being one of the few respected Divas in the world, its fortunate that Melina is skilled as either heel or face.  Natalya returns last week’s slap on Melina.  Could be a very good upcoming match if given the time.

CM Punk tells the trainers to get ready to help an injured John Cena tonight.  Not sure where any of this is going, but WWE is doing a great job of building it up.

Daniel Bryan (US Champion, with the Bella Twins) vs. Zack Ryder

Match is joined already in progress, which means nothing good for either man.  Far too quick a match for either talented wrestler.  Ryder taps out to a Labell Lock.  But at least we get an extensive amount of time for the latest GM Email.  While reading a generic Happy Holidays email Miz comes out of nowhere (still not sure if he came from backstage or through the crowd) and attacks The King.  Its a violent, savage attack on the legend and this feud that no one knew they wanted has taken a step towards becoming classic.

Josh Matthews again gets to keep the King’s seat warm.

King Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Josh calls Orton the Lord Voldemort of WWE.  The Viper speaks in Parseltongue.  The announcers are calling this another round in one of the best rivalries of 2010.  Sheamus has come a long way, but still has not had anything to call great or best.  Nothing special out of this match until Sheamus drives Orton into the ring post and Randy’s head bounces off the post.  Quick move that could have taken years off Orton’s career, especially with his history of back and neck problems.  Orton hits a super-plex later in the match.  He should wrestle with a neck collar on at all times.  Maybe a helmet too.  Sheamus and Orton start beating on each other and this has left wrestling world and become a brawl.  Sheamus counters Randy’s moves and hits an Irish Curse back breaker.  First match in a while on Raw to feature psychology and story.  Sheamus is holding his own in both departments too, which is a sign of how good he will be.  Sheamus goes for his second sling shot shoulder block of the match but Orton catches it for an RKO.  Hello highlight reel.  Orton wins the match and looks stronger than anyone else in WWE.

John Cena comes out, and knowing that its the end segment of Monday Night Raw, he calls out CM Punk.  Cena calls Punk “CM Sucks” and it gets annoying real fast.  Punk wont come out and Cena is about to go find him for what’s sure to be a backstage brawl when the Nexus comes out instead.  No Wade Barrett, so David Otunga looks to be in charge tonight.  Otunga announces that Nexus is now under new management.  Otunga looks to have won his power play now that Cena has taken out Wade.  David offers a truce to Cena, and vows to end the Cena/Nexus battle.  Cena refuses to believe that this offer is genuine.  Otunga declines a fight and Nexus walks away, oh but wait.  Nexus swarms Cena.  Finishing moves all around and John Cena is destroyed.  Otunga stands over the fallen Cena and removes his Nexus armband, leaving it over Cena’s broken body.  Nexus walks away and the face of WWE is decimated.  CM Punk picks his spot and comes to the ring.  Nexus allows him through, with no violence, and Punk picks up his foe and delivers a GTS.  Punk grabs a steel chair from outside the ring and… sits in it?  CM Punk picks up the Nexus armband, and slowly puts it on.  Crowd freaks out.  Punk raises his arm to Nexus and they raise theirs in return.  A shocking end to the year indeed.

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