Smarked for Death – WWE Monday Night Raw 2/14/11.

Lets celebrate Valentine’s Day by smacking some people around!

Wow. Starting the show with John Cena vs. CM Punk? This can only mean something huge for the end of the night. Oh, but Cena has to talk first. Lets get some pop culture references in there.  Why the WWE has always been instant on doing this escapes my understanding.  I don’t watch WWE to get my stars and sluts celebrity news.  Punk thankfully comes out to get the action underway.  Nexus and the other participants in the Elimination Chamber are banned from ringside.  Its amazing to look at Punk and think of his current incarnation versus the man who first showed up in WWE.  Everything he does in the ring has meaning, and all of his moves in this match help build it up into something great.  Great extension on Punk’s kicks.  Punk and Cena might be on its way to becoming one of the great rivalries.  Punk is knocked to the outside of the ring and Thing from the Adamm’s Family reaches out, hands Punk a weapon, and Punk uses it to knock out John Cena.  A GTS for the cherry on top and Punk pins Cena.  On the replay I see how great Punk is, he slides a chair in first to distract the referee.  Brilliant.

Alberto Del Rio talks, Edge spears him, Vickie and Dolph say Edge is no longer World champion and all  of this hypes up Smackdown a little for Friday’s 600th episode.  Time filler.

Son of a bitch, the 2-21-11 thing is definitely The Undertaker.  Looks like all hope for Sting finally in WWE is gone.

Eve (Divas champion) vs. Natalya – LumberJill match

All the talentless ones are surrounding the ring.  This starts off as a pretty good, gimmick free actual wrestling match.  I’m shocked, but its very enjoyable.  Natalya finally gets knocked out of the ring and the heels attack.  Melina in a meta move, actually uses her heel.  Eve saves the day with a dive onto the hostile honeys.  Eve spins into a very odd pin and captures the win over the more talented Natalya.

The Bellas smack Eve around backstage.  Natalya and Gail make the save.   Put them all in the Chamber!

King Sheamus sneak attacks Mark Henry and absolutely destroys him.  Wow, no more mystery opponents on Raw for awhile.

The Miz (WWE Champion) vs. Daniel Bryan (US Champion)

Alex Riley graces us all on the announce team.  Its tough to believe anything Cole and Riley say about the greatness of the Miz when he’s in there with a much MUCH better wrestler.  Bryan hits a running knee off the apron and into Miz’s face.  It was so nasty I don’t feel like the Miz should be seen for at least a month after taking that move.  Bryan then hits  a dropkick/stomp hybrid that channeled Superfly with its grace.  Bryan should be in the ‘Mania MITB match and have his historic moment.  Miz wins the match, but Daniel Bryan  looked like a star tonight, and a talent that could potentially defeat anyone at any time.  Outstanding Raw so far.

Miz cuts the safest heel promo he can on Lawler while respecting the Lawler family who are grieving the death of his mother.  Nice thin line for WWE to tread, but they did so without looking heartless.

John Morrison and R-Truth vs. David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty

The Elimination Chamber hype match is changed to get some revenge on the New Nexus.  Cant forget the “New”.  Mason Ryan gets involved early because he does not walk alone.  Truth gets worked over for most of the match.  Turns out New Nexus are big fans of Green Bay and geography.  Morrison gets the hot tag and doesn’t stop his assault, risking disqualification numerous times.  Morrison looks like a gladiator instead of a pretty boy and maybe its long overdue.  Morrison pins McG  and stands strong, looking like a warrior who is ready to grasp that brass ring.

Some young female fan introduces the Great Khali and together they show off the WWE Kiss Cam.  Hornswoggle comes out and shares an innocent moment with this young lass.  Hornswoggle is 24 years old.  Over the line, WWE.  TNA wouldn’t even cross this line.

Randy Orton vs. King Sheamus

Does this happen to anyone else?  I enjoy the entire show, but by the time the main event hits I zone out.  Especially a match like this, no title on the line, PPV in 6 days, nothing of note will happen in this match and I know it.  This happens far too often on the free TV shows.  Never have this problem with the PPVs.  Which means its not a time issue.  Anyways, I zoned out for the match and when I come to, Orton has just hit an RKO and pinned Sheamus.  New Nexus attacks Orton, but only as long as it takes for Morrison, Truth and Cena to make the saves.  It takes both Cena and Orton to remove Mason Ryan from the ring.  Keeping the Rookie looking strong.  Orton and  Cena clear the ring, and this would mean something if both men were facing each other at WrestleMania.

The mysterious host of WrestleMania arrives in a limo, and a pair of woman’s legs gets out.  Color us all confused.  Women?  In wrestling?  At the grandest stage of all?  In a prominent role?  Something is amiss here.

Wow.  The Rock.  Is back.  There is nothing I can say here that will give this moment justice. Instantly one of the most iconic  moments in all of WWE history.

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