Smarked for Death – WWE Smackdown 2/18/11.

Welcome to the 600th edition of Smackdown and I honestly have no idea if I’ll get through this or not.  Smackdown is not in a must see place for me right now.

(Ivory was on the very first episode of Smackdown.  That’s why this picture is here.)

Edge (World champion), John Cena, John Morrison, R-Truth, Randy Orton, and Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler, Drew McIntyre, Kane, King Sheamus, Wade Barrett, and CM Punk

Everyone will need to look strong.  No one will want to go into the PPV looking weak.  Expect all 12 guys to phone this in.  Also expect a DQ ending, or Truth gets pinned.  Everyone gets a little time in the match to hit some moves, and there’s a lot of rest holds.  We get to the pinnacle of the match and its a finishing move free for all.  Rey hits a 619 on Wade and Dolph.  Edge spears Dolph and the faces get the win.  Bit shocking to see Dolph pinned here when he should be looking as strong as possible right now.

Vickie comes out.  Title controversy.  Blah  blah.  No one buys Dolph having the championship this way.

Cody Cannibal Lecter cuts a promo.  I’m not sure what his true intentions are, as he is masking them.  (Terrible joke!)

Eve (Divas champion) and Beth Phoenix vs.  Maryse and Layla.

Michelle McCool does commentary while she’s injured.  On the eve of Undertaker’s return, have he and his wife ever both been healthy and 100% at the same time?  LayCool hits a double kick on Eve for the pin.  Maybe her injured foot is actually Flawless.

Smackdown plays at least half of Rock’s speech from Raw.  You know, for all the millions (and millions) of people who watch Smackdown but don’t watch Raw or have access to the internet and are also Rock fans.

Kofi Kingston (WWE Intercontinental champion) vs. The Miz (WWE Champion, with Alex Riley)

Oh, I’ve been watching wrestling for so long I remember way back when Kofi mattered.  Del Rio comes down, distracts Kofi and Miz gets the pin.  So neither the WWE nor the Intercontinental champion look strong here.  Just the #1 contender, who is feuding with neither man.  The strongest champion in WWE today is Edge.  The secondary titles could be smaller world titles if booked correctly, but that hasn’t happened in some time.

Santino Marella and Vladimir  Kozlov (WWE Tag Team Champions) vs. Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel (The Corre)

Are there no other tag teams in WWE?  Can one be thrown together just to have some freshness here?  What happened to Drew and Sheamus as the Celtic Connection?  Corre attacks and the match ends with a DQ, no big shock.  But a Big Show, who comes down to ring and tosses around the heels like Corre-d wood.  Ezekiel holds off on battling the Big Show.  That’s right Zeke, wait and maybe in a few years you’ll finally get a DVD set too.

Vickie claims  Dolph is the rightful champion and they celebrate until Teddy Long makes his dramatic return to Smackdown.  Not quite the level of the Rock, but close.  In Long’s mind.  Edge and Dolph Ziggler battle for the “vacant” World title.  No one expects it to really be vacant, and the fans will forget about this as a separate title reign.  Edge hits a spear for the win and continues his championship.

Right?

WWE.com and Wikipedia both list Dolph Ziggler as a former World Heavyweight champion as of this evening.  A one day (not even) title reign for his awarded belt.  As accustomed to wrestling stories as I am, this leaves a bad taste with me.

Oh, Teddy Long comes out and fires Dolph to close out the night.

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