Smarked for Death – On Joshi, Mistletoe and Car Washes.

This is the greatest woman wrestler on the planet.  To find out more about why she’s great and the current state of women’s wrestling in the big two is awful, read on!

In the past week I watched Divas grab for Mistletoe, Knockouts wash cars and finally great women wrestlers from the United States, Canada and Japan put on some of the best wrestling on the planet at JoshiMania.  What the hell is going on with women’s wrestling?!

In the WWE there are only two women wrestlers, Beth Phoenix and Natalya.  Sure all of the other ones are trained to wrestle, but trained to do something and being good at it are two different things.  Here’s my measuring stick for women wrestlers.  Can she hang in Shimmer?   I don’t believe for a second that either Bella or Alicia Fox etc. could put on a match in front of those rabid fans.  But can you blame them?  They don’t have to wrestle well.  That’s not what is expected of them.  Brie Bella won the Divas Christmas bullshit on a pole match recently.  Did she win a title match?  Something good and honorable?  No!  She won the opportunity to kiss a male wrestler.  Well, that is just equal to winning a championship match isn’t it.  Remember when CM Punk cashed in Money in the Bank so he could kiss Maryse?  Or when Ric Flair won the Royal Rumble and as his prize he got to lock lips with Sensational Sherri.  No, of course not.  Because crap like that doesn’t happen with the male wrestlers.  Because they are (mostly) respected.  Also, Brie Bella won this.  Her sister Nikki is considered to be the less talented of the two.  How bad are your wrestling skills when Brie Bella is ranked higher than you?

Things aren’t much better over at TNA lately. Even though most of their Knockouts are real wrestlers, you wouldn’t know it by recent episodes.  A Thanksgiving thong match?  One, there was a lack of thongs so its just stupid to name it such a thing anyways.  Two, I don’t know what you stuff your turkey with, but I hope women’s panties is not on the list.  Or at least really far down, after you’ve exhausted all other options.

Then this week there is the bikini car wash.  Not since the glory days of Skinemax has two hours of plot revolved around women dressed in skimpy outfits and washing cars.  The sad thing is that TNA has ladies that can wrestle.  The women involved in this car washing gimmick:  Tara, Angelina Love, Winter, Velvet Sky (and I’m sure I’m missing someone) can wrestle.  They don’t need the gimmick and excuse of parading around in skimpy outfits in order to feel some sort of worth.  While the Knockouts title means more than the Divas title over the last few years that doesn’t mean that objectification cant still happen.  And, obviously, does.

But where can we find something good?  The independents.  CHIKARA just presented three nights of JoshiMania.  For those of you unaware, Joshi is the Japanese term for womens wrestling.  Three nights!  In the United States.  And they had vocal excited rabid smark fans all three nights.  The DVD is either available or about to be and its at the top of my wish list.  Let’s not forget about Shimmer. The all woman group puts on great shows featuring the best of the best women on the planet.  If you cant hang or haven’t been invited to Shimmer then you need to go back to wrestling school.

I get that there needs to be “something for everyone” on a wrestling show.  Well what about those of us that want to see a good women’s match?  There is nothing for that market on TV.  I’ll go on the company’s site or Highspots or Smart Mark Video and load up on women’s wrestling.  There, I am guaranteed something good. At least WWE and TNA can guarantee me a car wash/bathroom break every week.

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