Welcome to the weird news where the weirdest words wake the world with witty wheedle, I’m Sam Proof and Roger is a cockSucker.
Here’s a story that shoots straight from the hip, Police in North Carolina believe that despite multiple searches Michael Leon Ward Smuggled a 10-Inch gun in to his prison cell… via his rectum.
Jailhouse guards discovered the handgun in the toilet after other inmates reported Ward.
Ward was quoted as saying “I’m going to find the stool pigeon that ratted me out”
Look for Ward in the 5 to 6 on NBC’s America’s Got Talent.. Rectum, damn near killed him.. for real. In his rectum. Police say the gun was unloaded, but they’ve yet to check Ward’s other orifice’s yet.
Well that was a real pain in the ass, in a non but related story a Massachusetts man has turned in 94 hamsters… wait this is non butt related right?
The man turned in 94 hamsters to a an animal shelter, explaining that he was running out of room in his apartment.
Or rather, he was living in the habit trail and 94 hamsters had taken over the apartment. Then man know as Rapper Jay Z, said he had 94 hamsters but and butt itch ain’t one.
Well there’s no butts about it, this one’s a thinker.
420 pounds of cow brains were confiscated by Officials at Cairo’s international airport.
Apparently there is a huge demand as Egyptians like to eat them deep fried.
A pound of raw cow brains can be bought in Sudan for less than a dollar can be resold in Egypt for six times as much.
Airport officials said, since they couldn’t ensure the brains had been preserved in a sanitary manner, they were confiscated and would be burned. Then breaded and covered in a sauce.
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This is Samproof for SPTV saying, I’m SamProof you’re not, stay weird …