The Smarked for Death Wrestling Review for WWE Extreme Rules 2012.

Order the DVD and watch the show yourself too!


This was a crazy pay per view.  I got to sit back and just watch it.  Not tweeting every match, not writing up my review as it happens. No this was like it used to be in a simpler time.  Thankfully it was also a great show.

Kane vs. Randy Orton has done nothing for me.  Not one match, move, or promo.  Nothing against either man, the match itself was fine.  But it lacked any meaning.  There was nothing to invest in the battle.  It was a fine brawl.  Numerous two counts, plenty of brawling.  And then it was over.

Brodus Clay getting a win over Dolph Ziggler bothered me at first.  Dolph should be getting built up to a world title push, instead he’s losing to someone who has yet to learn how to work.  But that is why he lost this match, and the whole point of it.  Its showing amazing faith in Dolph.  He is joining the broomstick group.  The short list of guys who could have a great match with a broomstick.  Ziggler made Brodus look good.  Swagger and Vickie helped a lot too.  The Funkasaurus isn’t going to be winning eithe r big belt.  BUt he is popular, and he needs to be built up more.  New stars always need to be made.  It was a good way to teach Brodus some things in the ring, and also have him look like a stronger competitor.

The ending of Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show was brilliant.  Wrestling matches have had people win before – not because they were the better wrestler, but because they were the better thinker.  This was one of those matches.  Show didn’t get beat, but he did lose.  Such a simple move.  Putting his foot down for balance, and yet that was all it took to end the match.  They even planned it well.  Show backed down into the table after taking a kick from Cody, thus it still looks like an offensive move.  One of the more brilliant endings I’ve seen in wrestling.

Ryback squash.  It doesn’t matter who he beat.  Not at all.  Its always great to bring in a new ridiculously powerful guy and have him destroy anyone who gets in teh ring with him.  But listen to the crowd.  They’re all chanting “Goldberg”.  Keep building up Ryback.  He’s not too bad in the ring and might become more than just a muscle guy.  But distinguish him somehow.  He needs something to differentiate him so these chants don’t continue.

Not since Rick Rude and Sting had an Iron Man match have I seen anyone pull off what Daniel Bryan did tonight, and did well.  Now maybe a 2/3 match wasn’t the best time to do it.  Losing one fall in an Iron Man match which could have any number of pins doesn’t matter.  But to be down one out of two is dangerous.  As shown by Bryan losing.  But to beat the hell out of Sheamus and damn the consequences of the first fall was great.  Then a Yes Lock and Bryan looked unstoppable.  Sheamus needed this win to look strong but Daniel doesn’t need anything.  He’s cocky, he’s an asshole, he’s better than near anyone else he gets in the ring with and yet he’s cheered every time he comes out.  Great match too.

Nikki Bella (or is it Brie?) (Divas champion) vs. ???

We all wanted Kharma to come out.  And we’re all expecting the Bellas to be done with WWE soon.  However, Layla is still a welcome sight to see.  ITs what it had to be.  An exit for the twins, and a huge return to remind fans just who Layla is and why she matters.  Defeating both twins pushed her right up into the spotlight.  Of course winning that title doesn’t hurt either.  Its a bad place for Layla to be though because she’s going to be ignored and unappreciated while everyone waits and expects Kharma’s return.

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena.

In the first minute of the match John Cena gets busted open.  Do you understand how huge this is?  WWE has nearly eliminated showing blood.  No one blades.  Matches have been stopped for just a trickle.  And here is THE Man in WWE with a huge gash on his hairline.  Blood is pouring through his buzz cut and onto the canvas.  WWE just doesn’t do this anymore.  Everyone in the arena is shocked.

Booking Brock likes he’s still in UFC is amazing.  Stiff shots, sponsors, blood.  He is worth every million pennies they’re paying him.  A referee bump too just to really fuck with the fans.  The blood gets worse and Brock is even smearing it across his chest.

Its a batshit insane match.  Its the Thing vs. Hulk.  Two men who have been booked as super beings collide.  Which one is more super?  Brock takes a nasty fall to the outside and feeds on it.  Cena hits Lesnar with a chain and now they’re both bleeding.

John hits Brock with the chain, hits an AA on steel steps and… that’s the pin?!  What in the hell?  They book Brock to lose his first match back?  That doesn’t seem right.

John Cena doesn’t move his left arm at all after the match.  And now the true story of the match might be coming out.  Cena may have won this battle but if that arm is as hurt as he’s letting on, Brock won the war.  Cena gets on the mic and says he’s going away for awhile.  What?!  The champ is heading out?  Could it be the arm, could it be a movie, or could it be he’s been working 400 days a year the last few years and he deserves a few weeks at home to chill?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s