AVX VS #1 Review

 

Magneto vs Iron Man is from Jason Aaron and Adam Kubert.

Thing vs. Namor is from Kathryn Immonen and Stuart Immonen.

Also, Namor has had the same character logo since his long forgotten solo series in the 90s.

AVX Fun Fact!  This is what happens when comic books try to do the big summer blockbuster (with all negative meanings that phrase has)!  Sure, the Avengers movie was well written – and you can thank Joss for that.  But throughout this comic I expect to read “from the writing team that brought you Transformers Dark of the Moon”!

The opening page tells us not to expect any plot inside, just good ole’ fashioned fisticuffs.  Oh thank you.  I’ll lower my expectations now.  Far be it for me to buy a book that matters.

Iron Man and Magneto start things off.  Magneto begins to look for the iron in the suit.  Because Magneto has never before met Iron Man, read an article about him, talked to any other super being who may have ever heard of Iron Man.  Of course it isn’t iron!  It hasn’t been since he first appeared in the gray suit.  A guy who has been with and against the X-Men, led his own nations, died and come back should know that people evolve.

Apparently people evolve, “magnetic counting powers” as well.  That’s right.  Magneto’s secondary mutation – much like Emma Frost’s diamond skin – is the power of Rain Man.  Rain Man, by the way – to take our Iron Man lesson from earlier, is not made of rain.  I almost stopped reading the fucking book with that line.

Iron Man takes dates to Jupiter and has learned how to harness the planets electromagnetic field (a field Magneto is familiar with too I guess).  Meanwhile, you know while Iron Man is bouncing satellite signals around from deep space and flying to other planets to get blow jobs, Wolverine and Hope (in Avengers vs X-Men #4 reviewed earlier today http://teamhellions.com/2012/05/16/avengers-vs-x-men-4-review/ ) take 9 fucking hours to get to the moon!  Which is closer than Jupiter!

Anyways. Magneto then flies into Earth’s orbit, pulls apart these same satellites and makes a suit of armor with them.  So now he can survive in space and fight Iron Man.  I’m not quite sure how he’s breathing in this suit, but I guess he can.  Something distracts Magneto for a moment, and a moment is all Tony Stark needs to end this fight.  The distracting something was Magneto “felt an entire planet vanish in an instant”.  Little known to me, while Magneto was busy being hero, villain, child, Xorn, dead and everything else he was also a Jedi Knight.

Hey!  Round 2 is Thing vs. Namor.  Two characters with history.  Hopefully Namor wont be surprised Thing is made of rock, nor Ben Grimm shocked that the Sub Mariner can breathe under water.

Looks like he can also speak under water as well.  The use of sound (especially Namor speaking) under water is the only thing that bothered me here.  I feel that the sound effects should have been somewhat different considering the surroundings.  I would like to see the physics of being hit by a punch equivalent to a car travelling 40-50 MPH.  Would it really be enough force to shoot the Thing up to the Hellicarrier?

The battle is great.  Thing stays calm and out thinks Namor who fights on rage and cockiness alone.  Even the giant sea monster makes sense within the Marvel universe.  Of course a sentient sea creature (there was a thought bubble, its sentient!) would show up just out of curiosity to see what is happening.

I am predicting issue two to piss me right off though.

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