I Hate It When WWE PPVs Act as My Cell Phone Provider: Over the Limit Predictions

It’s that time of the month again, no not that time (I’d know nothing about that), but time again for WWE PPV predictions. Up this month, Over the Limit, the PPV that reminds me that I’ve gone over my data or texting limit once again. Well, screw you PPV…wow I’m getting off point here. Anyway, WWE is coming off the heels of a great PPV last month (Extreme Rules), and despite Brock Lesnar already being gone, there looks to be some great matches on the card.

Zack Ryder vs. Kane

Since WrestleMania, Ryder has become the Jar Jar Binks of the WWE. He’s fully responsible for Team Johnny pulling out the bullshit victory that has lead to the imperial’s taking command. Not to mention, way to waste that internet push WWE, if your intention really was to give Zack Ryder his due, being worked over by Dean Montrose at a house show is not the way to do it. Even more pathetic is Kane’s performance lately. Bigger, badder, shittier, you’d figure the mask would be an incentive to win, but apparently not. And seriously, what was that shit on RAW this week. Lame sauce is what it was! Kane needs to get out of this rut way more than Ryder.

Winner: Kane

CM Punk (WWE Champion) vs. Daniel Bryan

The geek match we’ve all really been waiting for is finally to occur. Punk’s rise has been great, as has Bryan’s, but as a first real main event encounter, Punk should bring the rain. Give this feud some time to gain momentum and it will be great! Who isn’t expecting this match to be match of the year anyway? Great match will lead to an even greater feud! If you’re not, fucking get educated!

Winner: CM Punk

Sheamus (World Heavyweight Champions) vs. Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio

Well first off, you can scratch Del Rio out of this match. He’s practically had his thumb shoved up his ass for a while and I wonder why he is really in this match. That leaves for a great triple threat match with interference from some dumb fuck. Jericho feels a little odd in this match but his addition will make for greatness anyway. The fact that WWE doesn’t seem to be jumping through hoops to give him a title rules him out. It seems like Orton is going through withdrawals and a likely candidate for the title, but I think we need a little build up before titles change hands.

Winner: Sheamus

Tiebreaker: Sheamus pins Orton for the victory.

Layla (Divas Champion) vs. Beth Phoenix

Just when you think a division had a chance, we’re back to the same old bullshit. Way to make your best wrestler into a joke WWE, I mean if you’re just going to drive the division in the ground could we have Karma back before you do so? Does anybody really care who wins here? No, both are gorgeous women, we get that, but this match just feels like Jubilee (Layla) vs. Jean Grey w/ the Phoenix (Beth Phoenix; I know pathetic). Fuck, Jubilee would be destroyed, not to mention I hated her to begin with. Fuck, let’s just get it over with.

Winner: Layla

Kofi Kingston & R-Truth (Tag Team Champions) vs. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger

The randomness in Ziggler & Swagger is a bit over due, but this match as the potential to be a great one. Granted, WWE has pretty well destroyed their tag team division; this piece of filler has the ability to be something really great. It probably won’t make it there but, as long as I see a great match I don’t care.

Winner: Kingston & R-Truth

Tiebreaker: R-Truth pins Swagger

John Cena vs. John Laurinaitis

So, wasn’t John Cena supposed to go away? Well he will now! Cena’s last three matches have been all over the map, but sadly the only way this match can go is for Johnny to win, it’s the only way. I know what you’re going to say, bullshit, but IT’S THE ONLY WAY! And if you interrupt me I’ll just keep saying it!

Winner: John Laurinaitis

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