Reviewing Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith


Wow, was this novel so full of awful. When it began I was hoping that it was going to give me the brief history of how Lincoln grew up, decided to become a hunter, and then focus on one central plotline in Lincoln’s life where there was a big vampire hunt of some kind. No. Instead this was a very drawn out history of Lincoln’s life with every single interesting bit taken out. True or not, anything interesting that happened to Lincoln was left in history while this novel focused on his interaction with Henry, the vampire who helped him through the hunts, his suicidal thoughts, and his dreams. Did I mention the dreams were the only parts that had any real action or suspense?

This novel read like a historical text, and most history books you find in school are boring. It’s based on fact, not to encourage you to be engrossed in a story. At 65% way through the book I wondered when the plot would actually begin. At the end I realized it never would.

Then there was the ending. What a mass of disappointment that turned out to be. The character introduced in the very beginning is never revisited and it was predictable. I can not even begin to understand the five star reviews on this novel. It is probably one of the worst novels I have read in a long time. Possibly because I expected so much more of it and it never delivered.

Reasons to Read:

– There isn’t one.

Reasons Not to Read:

– Written like a history book

– No cohesive plot, just history

– Lincoln is dull and his thoughts too sad all of the time

– Skips over any point in history that would have been interesting to read with his hunter skills

– Most actual killing of vampires is done “offscreen”

– No surprises

– Pointless

– Reasoning that slaves are the reasons for vampires is laughable. So much for Lincoln having any smarts at all.

– Yes, I could keep going, but I’ll stop.

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