The Smarked for Death Wrestling Review for WWE Over the Limit 2012.

 

We had a bit of freelancing drama last night, so I was not able to watch Over the Limit live.  But what better way to spend a Monday morning then watching what the entire IWC is telling me was the match of the year?

The show starts out fast with 20 men already in the ring and going at it to get a shot at one of the secondary titles.  Damn that’s a hell of a start to a show.  I might have to watch the pre show now to see how all of this got set up.

That’s JTG’s new look?!  He does look more like a wrestler now.  I look forward to that.  Yoshi Tatsu is dumped out.  Remember when he won the WrestleMania pre show and everyone thought he would be pushed towards something?  Also look at all the tag teams in this match!  WWE uses their tag team titles as a plot device or as nothing over the last few years.  But why not have a competitive tag team championship on NXT or Superstars?  Reks and Hawkins, Usos, Young and O’Neil, plus there are probably numerous guys with no other stories going on who could be thrown together in the hopes of magic.

We’re down to six Superstars and its taken this long for me to notice Alex Riley is in the match.  Taken this long to know A-Ry is still in WWE.  Michael Cole says we’re seeing the future of WWE and that’s the first time I’ve agreed with him.  There is an incredible amount of young talent in this match.  Lots of future champions.

Tyson Kidd is in this?!  Alright, gimmicks canbe awful but we need something.  Flashier trunks, tassles, shirts.  Hell even tattoos help.

Christian plays the face while Miz and David Otunga attack him.  He was a heel when he left right?  Although its inevitable that he would get the cheers upon his return, so there really may have been no choice but to have him get the fans support.  Booker says if he was one of the two champions he would like to face David, because he’s the least experienced.  That is actually a great point.  Miz is experienced and in desperate need of a big win.  Christian could have ring rust.  Great point.

However Captain Charisma has no ring rust.  He ran through this and fought back from a two on one assault.  Christian celebrates and points to Santino’s US title.  Title match later tonight!

People Power promo is shown.  I know I’m going out on a limb, but follow me here.  John Lauriniatis as Kim Jong Il.  He claims this is all for the people yet has total control.  He has these long drawn out and grandiose names.  He uses pictures from the past to fool the present into thinking he was something special.  Yeah, try to doubt me!

Over the Limit now “officially” starts.  That was a crazy opening.  Felt unplanned, chaotic, and exciting.  I would actually very much look forward to seeing some craziness like that again.

Vickie Guerrero comes out.  Make fun of her all you want.  Fact  is she’s the best manager of the last 10 years, a Hall of Fame level heel, and has busted her ass to make said ass look hot.  She really is fantastic and needs to be given more credit.

Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger (with Vickie Guerrero) vs. R-Truth and Kofi Kingston (WWE Tag Team Champions).

Damn this is a good match.  I mentioned earlier that there are a ton of tag teams in WWE right now.  And I was watching the Shawn/Bret DVD this weekend in which Bret mentioned the tag team division of the 80s.  This is a great tag team match between two actual teams.  Yes, all four men were solo wrestlers not that long ago but they have been teaming long enough to officially be called and thought of as teams.

Swagger is looking phenomenal in this match.  He may have been given titles too early in his career but there is no doubt he’ll come into his own and be one of the best WWE has.  Also, ZigSwag works great together.  They always know where the other guy is, where the opponents are, the pace that the match needs to take.

Classic tag team match here.  The heels work over the “lesser” face.  Quick tags.  All is building up to the hot tag and a huge pop for Kofi.  We need to get some false tags going here.  Truth reaching but the referee not seeing it.  Getting so close but not close enough.  By “lesser” I do not mean anything against Truth’s skills.  However, Kofi is more over, has been in more high profile matches, and has a flashier style that lends itself well to the excitement of a hot tag.

Booker points it out, and I agree, Kofi needs to be a little more aggressive.  He waits for Truth to kick out when he should at least run in and kick Dolph or Swagger in the back to break up the three count.  Truth has a quick comeback but everyone is out of place and the crowd sees it.  Wrestling is all about suspending our disbelief but when something happens to take us fans out of that moment we will respond.  Truth, Dolph and the referee were all out of place to the point where Truth had to actively avoid tagging in Kofi.

Moments later Kofi finally gets that properly scripted hot tag and sure enough the crowd goes crazy for it.  He takes out Swagger first then runs up the ropes for a crossbody.  That could have been it but Jack breaks it up.  Zig Zag, near three count but Truth breaks this one up.  What an exciting ending!  Dolph leaps for a splash in the corner but runs right into kick as part of Trouble in Paradise.  The champs retain.

Great tag team match.  Kofi and Truth blend well.   ZigSwag put on a good show.  Vickie is frustrated and wondering what she needs to do to finally bring that gold home.

Backstage Eve talks with Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins.  Twice on the same PPV!  Solace Winter must be losing her mind in excitement.  This faction of Johnny supporters is growing larger and larger by the day.

Beth Phoenix vs. Layla (Divas Champion).

Beth has pants on!  This is news.  I liked the cheerleader-esque look.  Beth’s gimmick is that she can be strong and sexy as hell.  Pinup strong.  Having her in a skirt added to that.  All of that unnecessary opinion aside, she still looks good in the pants.

Layla comes out and gives a young fan a kiss.  He does not grab her boob.  See Botchamania 206.

King says that Beth isn’t familiar with Layla?  Its not like either woman is new.  Sure Layla has been out of action for a year but both women have been in WWE for far more than a year.

Its a sloppy match.  One day, and probably one day soon, a Diva is going to be injured due to lack of skills, poor training and an over abundance of neck based moves.

Beth works over Layla’s knee with such aggression my knee hurts.  This is a Bret Hart level dissection.  I’m expecting to see a figure four around the ring post.  Also, Solace pointed out on Twitter that there is way too much focus on Layla’s crotch during the match.  Once you notice that it wont go away.  Yeah, her crotch is damn near continuously in the center of the shot.  Nearing ECW pervert cam levels.  Which, honestly, if that’s what you are and what you’re going for – fine.  Be honest about it.  But this is just pushing the limits of PG.  Not for artistic merit, but to toy  with it.

Layla tries to fight back but Beth presses Layla up.  The strength, especially on a woman in WWE, is incredible.  She needs more.  If I had to predict a 2012 future endeavored list Beth is on it and I think it would be the best thing for her legacy.

Layla comes back fast with a neck breaker (the Lay Out?) and clean pins Beth Pheonix.

Yes, its a great move and the speed and impact of it is fantastic.  But its a neck move out of someone who fucked up numerous moves earlier in the match.  Also, its hit on someone who is above every other Diva in skill and deserves so much more.

Matt Striker interviews Randy Orton.  They talk about Smackdown and Orton hitting a post match RKO on Sheamus.  Chris Jericho comes in to make his own comments.  So far, this run has been a bust for Jericho.  I love him, he’s one of my favorite wrestlers of all time, but his return has meant nothing.  Not even a secondary title run.  Nothing.  What was the point?

Fatal Four Way for the World Championship.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton vs. Sheamus (World champion).

There’s a sign in the crowd for Jericho that says “part time singer, full time jackass”.  Cute sign, but where would you put “wrestler” on that.  Sometime?  “Many call Randy Orton the franchise of Friday Night Smackdown.”  Who says that Michael Cole?  Not that I can think of another name, but it doesn’t seem correct.  Also a disservice to Sheamus, Daniel Bryan even Kane and Big Show.

I get the gimmick of Del Rio having his own ring announcer, but no one rolls R’s or adds more flavor to the Mexican/Spanish language than Lillian Garcia.  Great to hear her when she’s on.  Great to hear introductions done for every man in the ring right before a title match.  This is always a little touch, but it adds to much to title prestige.

“If you cant get along, let’s get it on.”  Booker T says a lot of stupid shit during commentary, but lines like this are golden.  Is there a quotable Booker T Tumblr blog yet?

Something feels very off about this match.  Signature moves, quick saves from one of the other men in the match.  Change partners and repeat.  Sheamus hits his punches, Jericho breaks up a pin, Orton hits the second rope DDT, Del Rio breaks it up.  It makes for a fast match, but that’s all.  I’m not feeling drama or excitement and in a Fatal 4 Way for the World title this match should have that feeling.

I got it.  Its a house show match.  See the wrestlers you love!  Watch their signature moves!  Pop when you see things you see on TV!  But in the end, you know nothing will happen to change the course of WWE.

The end was great.  RKO, RKO, Brogue Kick, roll up hooking the tights and then Sheamus’s cradle driver variation, the White Noise.  That at least was an exciting ending, but what did I tell you?  He walked in as champ and walked out as champ.  No one changed sides, no one’s WWE story arc or character changed what so ever.  Granted, a match like this isn’t a regular house show kind of thing. More like a super show in MSG or something.  But its a glorified house show match nonetheless.

Eve and Cody talk backstage.  How does Eve take a bigger role in WWE, and what should be a stronger character, and somehow make herself look less talented or worthy of her spot?  I just want women in WWE who deserve to be there.  Is that too much to ask?  Christian shows up and challenges Cody for later tonight.  That sounds like a much more exciting match than against Santino.

“Awesome!”  Miz is back out?  But he was just in the battle royal, and there is no previously announced match.  I’m guessing a Brodus Clay squash!

the Miz vs Brodus Clay (with interchangeable Funkadactyls).

I think that’s what they were called.  These two women are just glorified back up dancers.  No wrestling talent, no character, we haven’t even been told which one is which have we? I fully expect one of them to win the Divas title by next month with this kind of push.

Added to the list of things Michael Cole isn’t (wrestler, announcer, wrestling historian), he is not a paleontologist.  “Dinosaurs died out quickly.”  Yes, after hundreds of millions of years.  “Stegosaurus had the smallest brain.”  No, they had two brains.  He’s so wrong about dinosaur facts you would think that the dinosaurs won WWE titles over their existence.

Funk wins with an earthquake splash.  Which isn’t how Earthquake did it at all.  Call it the Thunder Lizard.  Or Global Extinction.  Something more dinosaur related.

Brodus Clay brings some kids in to celebrate.  I don’t know.  Something just feels wrong about this.

Reks and Hawkins are walking through the crowd and confiscating anti Lauriniaitis signs.  Solace Winter has now pre ordered the Over the Limit DVD.

Cody Rhodes (Intercontinental champion) vs. Christian.

This is an unexpected treat.  Cody looks great against someone who can also go.  He is trying to show his heel strengths against another great heel.  Show off his wrestling, his character, dare I say it – his charisma against a man who is known for all the same traits.  Cody with a super-plex off the top that hurts Rhodes more than Christian.  Christian is hurting already, and its a great storyline consistency with the battle royal.  He would be exhausted.  This would be a long tough night already.  Then he’s in there with a young lion like Cody.

Reks and Hawkins were trending worldwide?!  Good job guys!

Christian’s hair looks awful and there’s something up with his eyes.  His ring work is crisp, so don’t think for a minute I mean drugs.  But he looks stressed or tired in the face.  Not showing it in the ring though, so kudos on the professionalism.

Cody hits a moonsault as nice as Kurt Angle used to before the drugs got hold of him.

Cody gets frustrated and screams out that he’s better than anyone else and needs to be treated as such.  Its just enough braggadocio to give Christian the advantage.  One Killswitch later and we have a new Intercontinental champion.

Great return and push for Christian.

There’s an Izod Center?  And that’s where the next PPV will be?  What the hell is the Izod Center?  Lot of polo shirts in that crowd.

Josh Matthews interviews CM Punk.  Punk’s Vince McMahon impression is one of the best ever.  Great job bringing in their independent history.  So excited for this match.  Speaking of exciting, here’s AJ!  AJ gives the cock-eyes to CM Punk.  They would make a perfect couple.  Real life and/or on camera.  On camera – she will wrestle, she’s loyal, she’s climbing the ladder, she wants to improve, and it could lead to some great angles.  In real life, Punk would have a wrestling obsessed, comic book reading, young girl to ride (I mean in cars!) with all throughout the WWE Universe.  If she doesn’t drink, smoke or do drugs its an almost perfect pairing.

Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk (WWE Champion).

I have heard nothing other than this is an amazing match since it aired.  I usually write as I watch, but I think for this one I’ll pay attention to the match and come back with my thoughts in a little bit.

Ho. Lee. Fuck.

Knowing who would win. Even knowing that.  I was on the edge of my seat.  Body parts worked over.  A story told.  Even Michael Cole saying Daniel Bryan is just slightly below the best in the world.

Signature moves countered and twisted.  Tiny moves like how the bodies were positioned for covers, hand placements, where the pin falls took place.  Wow.  The match is a clinic.  It is art.  This is the match that should be shown to any non wrestling fan.  Pop this match in and tell them to enjoy the best possible work from two of the greatest wrestlers on the planet.

And the ending!  Punk barely gets in a three count before he succumbs and starts to tap out.  If Daniel Bryan had rolled his shoulder, if Punk moved a second later, there would have been a new champion.  Booker T said numerous times that this match could go for over an hours.  I think that’s what we need at No Way Out.  Punk vs Bryan II.  Iron Man match.

Its racism time!  Lawler says he cant tell the difference between Camacho and Hunico because they both look alike.  Well that’s a wonderful thing to say in 2012.

Camacho (with Hunico) vs. Ryback.

Its obviously about to be a squash.  Thus far no one is watching the match on the monitors.  The fans chant Goldberg.  Cant disagree. If anything its Goldberg wearing RVD’s tights.  Camacho and Hunico use double team distractions and I think that’s the first time Ryback has been down.  Its not for long though.  Ryback with a power slam and then a clean and jerk into a power bomb.  Yet that isn’t the finish!  Damn impressive strength move, but still not the finish.  Another power lift, a march around the ring and drops Camacho down like a shitty Lowe’s employee dumping fertilizer in your trunk.

WCW Best of the Clash of the Champions comes out Tuesday.  I would love to get my hands on this one.

John Lauriniatis vs. John Cena.

I still don’t know how to spell Johnny’s name and I dislike him so much I don’t care.  This should not be the main event.  A crap, gimmicky match with no hope for ring work, only setting up an angle for Monday Night Raw, just after a possible match of the year, should NOT be the main event.

“One of the greatest tag teams of all time – the Dynamic Dudes.”  Well, that is likely to be the only reference to Shane Douglas on WWE TV this decade.

Its a joke match so far.  Johnny and Cena get on headsets in a slightly funny spot.  Cena wasn’t that great, but a delirious Johnny mumbling “5 time, 5 time” to quote Booker T was hysterical.

Its a funny match, with a lot of goofy spots and humor, but that is not what a PPV main event should be.  Hey, who wants to spend $50-60 for a joke!  If people wanted to waste money on joke PPV main events WCW would still be in business.

John Cena drinks water during the match.  I expect him to hold the WWE Tag Team Titles with Kofi Kingston by next month.

Johnny is absolutely humiliated in this.  Water, fire extinguisher, trash and it goes on and on.  This is a lot from the executive vice president of talent relations and the permanent GM of both Raw and Smackdown.

Of?

Of Interplanetary… Traffic Safety Squad and Patrol.

Which units?

All units.

Except?

Except Jupiter and Spain, or unless otherwise noted.

Johnny gets a little bit of momentum when it looks like Cena hurt his arm again.  But its not good enough and Cena fights back.  Johnny walks through the crowd to escape.  It looks like everything is over but…. its the Big Show!  Big Show grabs Johnny from the crowd and drags him back to the ring.

Johnny is stuck in a dangerous place between the two men.  Both tease knocking Ace’s ass out but in the end Cena picks up Johnny for an Attitude Adjustment and… Big Show heel turn!  Show punches Cena in the face and knocks him out.  Everyone debates if its an accident but Show doesn’t seem to care.  Ace comes to and crawls onto Cena.  Johnny gets the pin!  Big Show watches all pissed off.  Fans still wish and beg that the WWE title match had been the main event and that this thing was given away on free TV.

Don’t believe the fans were upset?  Look at this markest of marks and the frustration on his Cena worshiping face.

 

I dub thee Mark Cena.

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