#HashtagHorror The Horsemen

REGALSAYS:

Well we said we were gonna review the bad, the laughable and the downright boring. The Horsemen applies to all three. If you watched this twice you would uncover more plot holes and whatnot. Really haven’t a clue WHY these kids did this.
0 out of 5 stars.

@FamousPlewa #HashtagHorror The Horsemen is on!

 

It was not until much later into this movie that I discovered this was actually listed under crime and thrillers, but who cares, it was a horrifying experience to watch. Most disappointing: how did Michael Bay have a hand in this and there was not one explosion?

@JoeBewick Someone’s a Johnny Cash fan… #HashtagHorror

@TheSupremeForce #HashtagHorror Already better than the last movie.

@FamousPlewa#HashtagHorror Starring Dennis ‘I was in Jaws, what now?’ Quaid.

@MrsZigglesworth The father and the emo son that don’t get along? That doesn’t bode well for a horror movie. #HashtagHorror

@FamousPlewa #HashtagHorror Looks like the Tooth Fairy is pissed.

@JoeBewick She’s a wee bit dead. #HashtagHorror

@TheSupremeForce #HashtagHorror I have no choice but to blame Vince for that.

@FamousPlewa#HashtagHorror Room covered in a red light… It was KANE!

@MrsZigglesworth Suspension? Huh.. kinky. #HashtagHorror

 

Fifteen minutes into the movie and you start to recognize a pattern. Dead body, close up of Quaid, dead body, close up of Quaid. This movie really is nothing but dead bodies and Dennis Quaid. Oh, and boredom. What bothers me most is this movie could have had an excellent concept but the way it pulled it all off fell flat.

@JoeBewick It’s trying to rip off CSI too blatantly #HashtagHorror

@MrsZigglesworth Damn! The CSI camera.. ugh, gross. #HashtagHorror

@TheSupremeForce#HashtagHorror They clearly hate the Red Wings.

@MrsZigglesworth You can’t find a body in a closet, maybe you should quit the force.#HashtagHorror

@FamousPlewa#HashtagHorror The people who write that paint on the wall have impeccable handwriting.

@TheSupremeForce#HashtagHorror Oh, THOSE Horsemen. So, this isn’t a racing movie?

@JoeBewick Ah, so that’s where that comes from… #FamilyGuy #HashtagHorror

@FamousPlewa#HashtagHorror *cue Four Horsemen theme and guitar riff*

 

Thirty minutes into the movie, oh, a dead body, what a surprise.

@FamousPlewa #HashtagHorror If Dennis Quaid had brains he’d find the ring leader (Flair) in a bar somewhere and end this thing.

@MrsZigglesworth “DA FOUR HASS-MEN” -Dusty Rhodes  #HashtagHorror

@MrsZigglesworth This movie is good for nothing but Ric Flair jokes. #HashtagHorror

@JoeBewick There haven’t been any cute doggies… 😥 #HashtagHorror

@FamousPlewa #HashtagHorror Racist assumption there by Dennis Quaid assuming Asian girls of 27 look 16.

@TheSupremeForce#HashtagHorror This movie needs more Horsemen.

@JoeBewick The lack of doggies in this movie disturbs me… #HashtagHorror

 

45 minutes in and we are subjected to another close-up of Dennis Quaid. I kind of get what’s going on at this point without actually caring enough to put it all together. Most interesting part is Ziyi Zhang and her claiming to live in this country since she was eight and still having THAT accent. No.

@JoeBewick OK, I’m confused now… #HashtagHorror

@FamousPlewa #HashtagHorror For some random reason… Quaid has the keys to a theatre.

@JoeBewick FUCK! THERE HAS TO BE ANOTHER DOGGY SOMEWHERE!#HashtagHorror

@FamousPlewa #HashtagHorror No need to fucking swear!

@TheSupremeForce#HashtagHorror *continued profanity*

@MrsZigglesworth Sitting in a diner, talking about gay tendencies.. right.#HashtagHorror

 

One hour into the movie and we are all a little tired. Okay, so this isn’t a dead body but one is to come shortly. Hey, I know Eric Balfour was a jackass in this movie but he was still better than the whiny emo kid. Come to think of it…

@JoeBewick I thought he swore a lot BEFORE #HashtagHorror

@FamousPlewa #HashtagHorror Someone has been noseying Jigsaws plans…

@FamousPlewa#HashtagHorror Had hooks in his eyes all night. Not one mark or scratch near his eyes.

@MrsZigglesworth The Horsemen: A Lesson on Suicidal Teens. #HashtagHorror

 

One hour and fifteen minutes in and Dennis Quaid makes a face that suggests he might be on drugs. AND not sharing with us. Ugh. We all know where this movie is going, can it hurry up and get there?

@MrsZigglesworth Taking a guess: The 4th horsemen/pale horse is Quiad’s son?#HashtagHorror

@JoeBewick Someone’s about to get Quaided… #HashtagHorror

@TheSupremeForce #HashtagHorror Doom doom doom doom dooooooooooooom!

@TheSupremeForce#HashtagHorror Most predictable thing ever.

@FamousPlewa#HashtagHorror Where’s Alex? Where’s Poochie?

@FamousPlewa#HashtagHorror Oh that movie can fuck right off. Made no sense at all. 0 out of 5 stars.

@TheSupremeForce#HashtagHorror Are we ever going to watch a good movie?

@MrsZigglesworth Knew it. Ok, so who put him up there? #HashtagHorror

In a nutshell… the movie is about emo kids killing people and themselves because life just isn’t fair.


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