If you read my Twitter bio, you’ll find a phrase that says “Ancient Astronaut Theorist.” Don’t know what that means? Well you don’t watch the History Channel! Since 2010, a show called Ancient Aliens has made some waves, promoting a line of thought called Ancient Astronaut Theory. In short, the theory posits that aliens had a part in our creation and development. The show is quite amazing, whether you believe or don’t, they present some great evidence to back up their statements.
The greatest proponent on the show is Mr. Georgio Tsoukalos. Publisher of Legendary Times Magazine, to hear him talk, he speaks genuinely, but that doesn’t help from becoming one of the Internet’s greatest memes. As you can tell below, he’s a proponent of aliens. I have a lot of respect for him, but, still, I can’t help but laugh.
4. Georgio Tsoukalos Explains What Junk DNA Is.
This is true; instead of cardboard boxes people, store it in junk DNA. Really makes you wonder if the Six Million Dollar Man could do this, somehow.
3. Georgio Tsoukalos Explains What Touch of Grey Really Is.
So, is that stuff that old men put in their hair somehow alien? Is that alien…let’s not go there, but hey, men, next time you want that perfect fusion of energy with experience, think “alien pound me in the ass prison.”
2. Georgio Tsoukalos Explains How Mufasa from the Lion King was created
So talking lions…this one may actually be plausible. I hear that they wanted to make Lion King 2 all about this, but Disney wasn’t about to take those first steps. Well fuck you Disney! Guess you can’t ride the wave of Ancient Aliens now!
1. Georgio Tsoukalos Has the Explanation for Every Question…EVER!
Why is this number one? Because it makes me think of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie. Particularly the “but I’m not an alien” exclamation. This also, kind of sums it up.
And don’t forget.