Its an experimental week for Smarked for Death. I went into the Royal Rumble spoiler free. But Raw had to wait for days and buy the time I watched it, I knew everything that was going to happen. Therefore, its kind of anticlimactic to write the usual thousands of words for a show that’s been spoiled for me.
All that is to say this wont be the usual review column.
There is a ton of set up here for the Road to WrestleMania. Some good, some too predictable to matter. Lets take a look:
Mr McMahon comes out to tell CM Punk and Paul Heyman that he has evidence against them to be revealed later tonight. We all have suspected that one or both of them has been behind Brad Maddox, The Shield, 9/11, and so on. A great intriguing start to the show that will keep fans watching to find out where this will go.
The Raw Roulette Wheel does not lead to anything memorable. Well, memorable for good reasons.
Antonio Cesaro vs. Randy Orton (with The Miz as speciall referee).
Antonio and the Miz is the story here, but I’m not seeing the point or reasons behind the angle. The Miz should be chasing after a larger title. If he is to be the new Nature Boy then there are only two titles he should be chasing. Antonio should be feuding with a proud American. Get over the title and get over him as a heel. If Jack Swagger wasn’t coming back for a different angle he would have been the perfect man for this spot. A man that needs a big win to relaunch his career. Randy Orton is a man without a country right now. The best thing that could happen to him would be an injury. Everyone talks about 2012 being the worst year of John Cena’s career. No titles in 2012, and no memorable feuds either. Wade Barrett, Kane, Dolph Ziggler, Shield. None of those feuds are remembered. Plus he lost 60 days after a Wellness Violation. The best thing to happen to Randy right now might be an injury.
Ryback has to make people laugh. He beats up the Prime Time Players. Then Matt Striker. I realize Ryback cant just squash people every week but this segment seemed a waste of his character. And Prime Time Players have dropped from the tag team picture which is a damn shame.
If WWE is doing anything correct right now its getting the next generation ready. Wade Barrett is still on the rise and yet he is being used to get Bo Dallas over. There are a lot of guys who are ready to grab that next level. With rumors of three MITB matches this year its going to be an exciting 2013 for young guys like Dallas.
Cody Rhodes deserves better than to be defeated by Super Cena. Oh how I want someone to beat his ass…
The Shield is the best booked group in I don’t even know how many years. Maybe since the original incarnation of the nWo. Not only did they destroy the Rock at the Rumble. Tonight they took out John Cena, Sheamus and Ryback. Not too bad for a group of three rookies who have only had one match on WWE TV so far. If these six men are going to, coincidentally of course, be the six men in the Elimination Chamber WWE already has my money.
Poor Tensai. The guy travels to Japan, becomes a monster and a force in pro wrestling, then is hired back by WWE and made into a joke. However, I do love tag teams of two big guys with limited wrestling skills who just beat the shit out of their opponents. See Road Warriors, et al. Thus the thought of Tensai and Brodus Clay teaming up to beat the shit out of everyone in their path could be wonderful. Put them against Team Hell no at WrestleMania and take my money.
Now this Alberto Del Rio and Big Show segment is how you build a feud. Del Rio won the title and is going to be a huge success as the face World champion. He beat Big Show, twice, and it should be time to move on. But then Big Show attacks his family. Well, Ricardo, but close enough. It was heart breaking and riveting television. I shouldn’t care to see this match again on PPV. But now the drama of either Alberto’s revenge or Big Show’s dominance is a story worthy of pay television.
Then a match that wasn’t even worth free TV. Kaitlyn vs. Tamina was a non match once the WWE Divas disguised as Las Vegas show girls get in on the action. I couldn’t tell any of them apart. Kaitlyn is becoming her own character. Tamina is growing. Please do something with the rest. Even the black English girl has blonde hair now. I mean come the fuck on!
Here’s some showgirls pictures for you just to break up the article.
I completely zoned out while the Rock was talking. Best thing about this segment was CM Punk saying all the WWE shows he will be on. Excellent shot at the part time champion.
Damien Sandow shines more in singles matches than in tag team ones. Sure, Sheamus had to play hurt but Damien looked aggressive and dominant for much of the match. Speaking of guys ready to hit that next level.
The 3MB, Great Khali, and Zack Ryder segment was horrid. If Khali and Zack team up I really want it to end with Zack stealing Natalya away from him.
Chris Jericho and Dolph Ziggler continue their feud. You can learn a lot from a Jericho. Vickie interrupts and spins the Raw Roulette wheel to set up Jericho and Ziggler as a team against Team Hell No. No one can get along in this match. I’m all for seeing two singles matches come out of this. Although, Ziggler and Jericho as tag team champions could be lots of fun.
Trish Stratus will be in the 2013 WWE Hall of Fame class. Well deserved, but the Attitude Era is most definitely behind us when now two members of that time are going into the Hall of Fame this year.
Paul Heyman and Vince McMahon face to face! I was live in attendance when Heyman cut his legendary promo against Vince right around the Invasion story. Paul’s lying promo is going to be hard to beat this year. Then this great hidden camera footage of Paul and Brad Maddox. Then The Shield comes in. CM Punk’s army? Paul’s shadow government? I don’t even care what it is or what its called, I love the shit out of it.
Then Heyman’s reaction when he knows he’s been caught. Have you ever seen someone out on a date with another woman and then his girlfriend/wife walks in? That’s how Paul looks now.
Vince is about to fire Paul. I’m a bit confused because I thought he was under contract to Punk, but whatever. Lets not let continuity get in the way of a good story. Heyman is about to be fired when that very recognizable music hits. Brock Lesnar has returned.
“Vince please leave the ring.” Oh what a great extra touch. Paul knows he has unleashed a force he cant control. Like the gods releasing the Kraken, Paul Heyman has unleashed a monster.
Average episode with an incredible ending. I’m going to try to get Shadow Government over as a faction name. To Twitter!