The Smarked for Death Wrestling Review of WWE Monday Night Raw 2/4/13.

I know I know!  Almost a week later and I am only just now able to watch Monday Night Raw.  Crazy.  That’s why this article is being posted on Monday.  Maybe it will flow with this week’s review and look like all of this was on purpose.

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(I cant believe it took me a week to write this either Mark!)

CM Punk gets his programming confused.  Smackdown is the show on Syfy that doesn’t use cheap CGI.  Paul Heyman is not in the same category as Sharktopus.  On many levels.  Booker T comes out and announces that Punk will face a former WrestleMania opponent later tonight.  We’ll get to the rumors on that a bit later.  Still not sure why Vickie Guerrero didn’t announce this.  Maybe she had to go poo.  Maybe Booker flew in and backstage someone said well shit as long as you’re here you may as well do something.

Ryback vs. Antonio Cesaro.

Sure everything previously to this match would state that Antonio will walk out or somehow cause an end to the match that doesn’t result from him getting pinned.  If anything I would wait for that definitive pinfall to take place at a PPV.  However, the Elimination Chamber is booked and WrestleMania is after that.  There’s no chance of anyone waiting for Ryback to beat Antonio clean until April or May.  So, yeah, all of this is a long way to say Cesaro was pinned.  But both men looked great and it shows a ton of faith in them to be the Superstars of the future.

Throughout the night Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio and Chris Jericho cut backstage promos on why they should face CM Punk later tonight.  All the promos amount to is creating a long infomercial for the WWE App.

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Jack Swagger destroys Santino Marella then wins with the Patriot Act.  Swagger needed that time off.  He’s come back angry, fast, stronger, and focused.  I will not be surprised to see him with the World title again this year, and it will be a much longer and more impressive reign.

Alberto Del Rio comes out and has a very fast match with Cody Rhodes.  It could have been good if given more time. If Cody is going to go solo then he needs to be built back up.  He and Damien were so close to getting the tag titles and running with them but now he’s just going to stall in mid card again.  Del Rio cuts a promo on Big Show, who is hiding in a hotel.  Oh oh I bet you Del Rio will end up in that hotel later tonight for a brawl.

Daniel Bryan vs. Rey Mysterio was a good match for the time it was given.  Bryan hits some incredible moves and it was great to see what he can do with a smaller opponent  as he is usually the smaller man.  It was just a teaser match though.  Very good for a short amount of time but not long enough for either man to get going and really show off what they could do together.  Bryan wins with the No Lock.

Mark Henry comes out to beat some people up.  He knocks around Bryan a little, destroys Rey Mysterio and then squashes Sin Cara just for fun.  Most of us marks will have to thank him for that one.

Backstage, Daniel Bryan asked Kane why he didn’t come out and help.  Mini promo by Kane that is really just leading to them losing the belts and then taking on each other at WrestleMania.  Actually, I wouldn’t be too shocked if they still had the belts at ‘Mania.  Would make for an interesting added drama to the match.

Sheamus vs. Kane.  Daniel Bryan comes out to distract Kane and cost him the match.  Well, guess that is definitely the end of this tag team.  Not much to write home about from the actual match either.

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Miz TV with Paul Heyman.  Miz confronts Paul about well everything lately.  Vickie Guerrero comes out to say it was actually her that hired Brock Lesnar back.  Miz insults Paul and Vickie just a little too much and this brings out Brock.  Lesnar destroys Miz, and the set, and that’s all we’ll see of him for a couple weeks.  Of Brock I mean.  Miz will be back next week.

DuckResponsePaul

 

PaulHeymanPleads

Randy Orton defeated Wade Barrett and man.  If you thought Orton had nothing going on right now for his character, Wade is the Intercontinental champion and is lost.  Both men need something to do but fighting against each other isn’t doing either man any favors.

CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho.  And here is when the WWE App backfires.  Rumor is no one expected the fans to vote for Jericho.  They thought it would be Orton.  That might explain a lot.  Orton isn’t as popular anymore.  Nor as hated.  Do something, anything with him.  I would love to see Punk and Rey go balls out again, but Jericho is maybe just as good a foil for Punk.  Great match.  How does Jericho take all this time off, get older, and come back even better?  Jericho is starting what might end up being the best run of the year.

Hey I was right!  Alberto Del Rio shows up to beat up Big Show at the hotel.  Pretty good fight with a great win by Alberto after he cracks the fire extinguisher over the giant’s head.  Then the inevitable people getting off the elevator spot.   I’ll admit it though, I laughed.

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Brad Maddox calls out the Shield, so that John Cena couldn’t.  That’s actually damn clever.  Shield comes out, cuts a great promo, and destroys Maddox.  So far Brad is going to go down in WWE history as a whipping boy.  The Shield is now surrounded and cut off by John Cena, Sheamus, and Ryback who all enter from the crowd.  Shield tries to run up the ramp but are cut off there by Randy Orton and who ever else was standing around Gorilla Position.  Shield gets hit a little bit and then runs off.

Good set up for the Elimination Chamber match that will no doubt be announced soon.

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