Well…. for June 7, 2013.

(Hey I need a graphic for this new column.  If you have ideas or a picture email me!)


Welcome to Hell, Week in Hellions, whatever you have thought up… this is the mash up of things going on during the week in the life of Kevin Hellions.  I call this column “Well…”

Totally inspired by similar weekly wrap up posts from my good friends William Bruce West and UnderScoopFire.  Go check them out.  Great blogs with great articles and tons of stuff to kill some time on.

So what’s going on this week in the life of Kevin?

Babies are tough!  The little guy isn’t even here yet and holy crap life has already changed.  Its our first child so I’m trying to go to every appointment, meeting and whatever else is going on with her body.  Thus we both took Tuesday off and decided to schedule everything we possibly can on that day.  This turned into a 10 hour day.  Insurance meeting, post office, buying baby stuff, (had to go to two stores for that because the first one had closed up shop at some point and thus that was a huge waste of time), stopped in my work for a minute where no one recognized me because of the new glasses and not wearing work clothes, oh and then finally to the baby doctor.  Oh and all of this without a car.

Yeah, the Hellions haven’t figured out the car thing yet.  Waiting for a couple of things to happen, not pie in the sky bullshit stuff, but actual financial things that are happening and hopefully we’ll have a car shortly.  We’ve mastered public transportation and have family that helps us a lot.  Walking isn’t a big deal for me and I would never make a pregnant woman walk far so we arrange things together.  Go to first thing, then maybe walk across the street to the next one.  We’re smart, we’re safe, and we got this stuff down.

But then there was a murder.

Yeah, so add this to our 10 hour day.  While we were at the first meetings we see helicopters flying over head.  There’s an air base near by and many times during the week they fly maneuvers and train pilots.  So we didn’t think anything of a helicopter hovering over one spot in the city.  Meetings done, travelling elsewhere, and decided to take a break for lunch.  While in the restaurant we find this out via a text from her boss:  Two dead in stabbing, suspect still on the loose, citizens are being told to stay inside.

What in the hell?!

My pregnant wife and I are in a strip mall eating at a little mom and pop joint and now you’re telling us that there’s a murderer on the loose?!  Here was my first protector moment.  I was a father, a husband, and most of all fully aware that at over 6 feet and over 200 and somethingsomething pounds much bigger than my wife and unborn child.  Every single person walking in the door was given the once over by me.  Is this the person running through the city with a knife about to walk in here and take us all as hostages?  Could I take down someone with a knife?  All these thoughts raced through my mind.  We didn’t leave until we finally got a text update that he was in custody.

But here’s what really bothers me.  You know how I got information?  From the aforementioned Will.  Will and I have yet to meet, and most of all, we don’t live in the same city!  In fact he doesn’t even live in New York anymore.  This is 2013!  I can find out who just farted in Utah but I cant find out about a slaying that it turns out we were two blocks away from!  (Yeah, that was why the helicopter was over head earlier.)

Every city should have a text alert system available to citizens.  Not for bullshit stuff, hey the Farmer’s Market is happening!  Great for the Farmer’s but if texts go out for everything that’s a perfect way for people to start ignoring them.  But, how about tornado alerts, or any storms, snow, gas leaks, major accidents, and of course a killer on the loose.

Sure if I lived in a major city I could probably have something like @NYBreakingNews or similar come directly to my phone but I’m not and again, its 2013.  If information can keep my family safe, I demand to know it.

Alright that long rant is over… So what else happened Kevin?

We got caught up on Game of Thrones.  Holy shit, Red Wedding indeed.  I wont go into spoiler territory but considering what’s going on in our lives right now and considering the gruesome way someone died it really messed us up.  Had to watch something light and fluffy for the rest of the night.

Alright that may be enough ranting.  I have lots I’m going to try to write, lots to do in life, and we’re going to a city wide yard sale tomorrow!  Hopefully to find baby stuff but lets be real I’m looking for geeky treasures.

Well…. can grow with your help.  Let me know if you want to hear about anything, have questions, or are just curious.


  1. Welcome to the world of the weekly post! I love these kinds of posts because anyone can review the latest press release, but everyone has a unique experience that doesn’t always fit into the daily column stuff. That’s where these come in handy. Nice work!

  2. Great post, yeah I love this format because you can just say what’s on your mind without having to slip it into a bigger story or something. Back to blogging basics!

    And I have registered WhoFartedInUtah.org as my new startup. If you want credit for the idea and residuals, I’ll see you in court!! (cue rad ass People’s Court theme song that always gets me pumped)

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