Halloween Dump.

I’ve had these pictures on my phone for months now.  Each one initially a lengthy post.  But now all this time later and a lot of my thoughts have been lost.  All the witty remarks and stories are gone.  So I’m gathering all of the Halloween pictures and putting them into this post.  It will take a while to get through everything here so get a drink and a sandwich and join me for all the fun from last October.

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If you cant tell I’m so happy.  (Yes, this is my Pharrell hat.  Deal with it.)

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So I was trying to come up with comic book based costumes using what was at work.  (Oh yeah, I worked at Halloween City this fall.  Long story.  I’ll tell all about it when I’m sure that I can and not face any trouble.)

This was my interpretation of Doctor Fate.  Helmet and ankh.  I know its a Roman or 300 or whatever style helmet, but roll with it.

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Let it go.  Let it goooooo!!!!  I still think doing a Scary Frozen theme would be great.  Maybe next year.  Frostbitten Elsa.  Jack Frost style Olaf.  Anna as the girl who lived.  Screw Halloween, I might have to write this up.

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“Are you my mummy?”

This would also make for a good beginning to a Golden Age Sandman costume.

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I was thinking Marvel’s Scarecrow or even Hobgoblin with this one.

Pumpkinhead possibly too.  Which, actually, is probably exactly what inspired this mask.

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This I was actually really happy about, and I think it could work.  Marvel’s Slapstick.  Crazy hair, over sized cartoon hands.  All I need is a big cartoon mallet.  With the popularity of Harley Quinn I could probably find one of those next year.

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Same exact costume.  One was marked “evil”.  Can you guess?  That’s right!  Facial hair equals evil.  Rules to live by for Halloween costumes and for dating women.

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If you have a Little Caesar’s anywhere near by and are of a certain age chances are you have eaten far too many $6 pizzas.  I mean come on!  They are both hot AND ready!  What’s not to love?

Well the salt, fat, calories, fake food, and I’m sure 100 other reasons.  But damn if we don’t love them anyways.  I had no idea there was a Halloween marketing campaign for the, ahem, “restaurant”.  Years from now this may be the only evidence that remains of such marketing.  Unless there’s a Little Caesar’s within 10 miles of Dinosaur Dracula.

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Oh hello.  What have we here?

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Halloween inspired donuts!

These actually weren’t that impressive.  They tasted like every other donut that looks like this but in different colors.  About the only thing it had going for it…

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Cream filling!  I’m a sucker for any donut with cream filling.  I’m sure that says something wrong about me.  I also think this donut looks a bit like a glazed butthole.  Now this post will come up any time someone searches for “glazed butthole”.  I’m about to be in some interesting company.

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Hey, did you know Halloween Crunch came out?  Probably you did.  It actually wasn’t too bad.  Much like regular Cap’n Crunch but with a hint of something else.  Crunch Berries perhaps?  They averaged 2 dollars a box in our area and for that price it was well worth it.

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Nummers.

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I will try all the Scare-ific flavors.  And them some!  (BTW, Sprinkled Donut Crunch is out now and is f’ing amazing.  One of the best cereals I’ve had.)

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Twix Ghost leaved a bit to be desired.  Its just a regular old Twix with this cool ghost pattern on it.  And ridiculously overpriced too.  Just buy a regular Twix for cheaper and say Boo! when you open it.

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Unlike the pumpkin Reese’s.  Everyone knows that the holiday Reese’s just flat out taste better.  I believe there have been studies, serious scientific research, and the conclusion is that the holiday ones have a different chocolate to peanut butter ratio than the regular cups.

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Candy corn M&Ms were alright.  They tasted enough like candy corn to enjoy but not enough to hate it after eating five like regular candy corns.

Now is where this gets risque.  More risque than glazed buttholes?  Yes.  We’re going to need some help here so I’ve hired a guide.

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These things were creepy as shit and I’m so mad I didn’t buy one.  When squeezed he would sing this song.  Sounds kind of like Jigglypuff but with the horror of a dark life in his voice.  Jiggly is going to show us two of the most disturbing things I saw (and sold) this past Halloween.

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Cerberus.  What could be more innocent?  Well as innocent as three headed dogs who guard hell can be.  What a great prop.  I could even see it in the classroom.  Introduce children to mythology.

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Well then.  Remember when you have pets guarding the bowels of hell always have them spayed or neutered.

Guess he’s a four headed monster.

Thank you.  I’ll be here all week.

And the worst item this Halloween.

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“Open Wound Sleeve”.

Or the start of my giant vagina costume!

Guys, don’t call your lady’s lady parts an “open wound sleeve”.

Also don’t call it “giant”.

 

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