Everyone knows I’m a geek. Family, friends, people I’ve never met but know of me. Thus, I regularly receive things that your average schmo won’t understand but I love. So when my friends Jess and Ryan gave this to me I lost my mind.

Whatever you’re thinking, I thought it too. Mostly “what the…” followed by the four letter word of your choice. All I wanted was information. How did this come into being? I needed answers.

I wished a tale of alternate universes was about to unfold. But the answer was simple thanks to the name on the couch.

Cardi’s is a furniture chain located in New England. They are also a major sponsor of Rhode Island Comic Con. Which my previously mentioned friends attended. Somehow during the festivities they ended up with this and bequeathed it to me.

I think it’s the mustaches that push it over for me. This is a plush dad joke that went to far. The Mrs Cardi’s should have put a stop to this along the way. As my wife probably wants to as well.

A lost cause though because these champions of couches, outsiders of ottomans, defenders of davenports are here to stay.