Welcome to the regular column in which I try to guess who will win at the latest pay per view and why. Usually I guess where stories are going. Who will be a champion in the future. Who is moving up and who is stalled.

This time though. Ugh. I love wrestling but I don’t know the last time I had so little excitement for a PPV. It’s not just the no fans Corona era. Although that doesn’t help anything. This is just such a low energy, minimal story telling, no build up, no consequences, no reason for this show to happen. Usually I plan out my Sundays. I make sure to get things done well ahead of time. Announce the TV will be mine for the evening. Start the texts between myself and the other members of The House Show podcast. This time though. I just don’t care. I’m really hoping to be surprised.

All of that positive build up aside, let’s look at what I think will happen this evening.

Edge vs. Randy Orton in “The greatest wrestling match ever”.

This will not be. Not a chance. Edge was retired. Orton already wrestles part time. Both have had good matches, really good, in the past. Other than maybe a ladder match or TLC I can’t think of any all time greatest match I would play for someone. Rumor is this match, along with the entire card, has already been filmed and will be edited for peak greatness. I’m expecting very little here.

Winner: Edge

Drew McIntyre (Raw world champion) vs. Bobby Lashley.

Again with the rumors. Lashley wins so WWE can look like they’re doing something special right now. Not firing or disiplning wrestlers who post racist things. But throwing a title on someone then hoping that makes any attention go away. I think Drew has been a great champion so far and while ratings aren’t showing it, the YouTube hits for any of his matches are high. There’s more money in Drew.

Winner and still champion: Drew McIntyre.

Braun Strowman (Smackdown world champion) vs. The Miz and John Morrison.

Why?! Braun’s limited talent will be exposed. Miz and Morrison look weaker as a tag team thanks to one man beating them. Neither AJ Styles or Daniel Bryan should be fighting for secondary titles. Why are Cesaro and Shinsuke a team and not individual stars? I don’t understand how this is the title feud on Smackdown. Braun’s going to win because of course he’s going to.

Winner and still champion: Braun Strowman.

Asuka (Raw women’s champion) vs. Nia Jax.

Nia has the size but there is example after example of her not taking care of her opponents. Asuka just won the title last month and it’s time for her to be built up and have this reign mean something. It would be unwise overall to have Nia win the title.

Winner and still champion: Asuka.

Jeff Hardy vs. Sheamus.

There’s reasons for people to fight. Money. Title. Woman. Revenge. Or beers and pee tests. Ugh. I try, I really try to look past the dumber things in wrestling but this is awful. Every week removes more doubt that the Corona no fan times is also the phone it in era.

Winner: Sheamus.

Bayley and Sasha Banks (Womens tag team champions) vs. Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross vs. The IIconics (Billie Kay and Peyton Royce).

The only match I’m looking forward to. Probably a good chance of being match of the night too. Yes, even over the Greatest match ever in the history of mankind all universes and dimensions in perpetuity. I would love for the IIconics to win. But with a title match on NXT I think this is the reign Sasha and Bayley wanted over a year ago when they promised to defend across all three brands.

Winners and still champions: Bayley and Sasha Banks.

Apollo Crews (US champion) vs. Andrade (with Zelina Vega).

Here’s some talent that’s about to see less TV time thanks to the writer changes. I see less time for everyone here soon but I think who is dating who in real life will be the saving grace here.

Winner and new champion: Andrade.

 

Let me know what you think. Let me know if any part of this looks good or exciting to you. I think I’ll start the show but it won’t get my full attention.