Each and every week without a pay per view, the At Odds with Wrestling podcast assigns a bit of wrestling homework. For each other, and for listeners like myself. This week Adam assigned two episodes of Office Championship Wrestling. Less than forty minutes total. It might be the longest stretch of my life.
This is what happens when an idiot has money. This is total frat boy chip on his shoulder, ego, better than you, I’m bored and need to spend money, give me attention, screw you, I find it funny attitude. This is what teenagers laugh at and then learn better. This is Jackass level inspiration with the bank account to do it.
And what makes it even worse, is that there is a good idea here. Rent out a space with high enough ceilings. Put a ring in there, a place for announcers, some fans, and record a weekly wrestling show. One owner could control the location, own the venue, own the equipment used, pay the wrestlers out of pocket, and just put on a good independent show. A money mark with a promoter’s license and a permanent vacation.
The first episode, Straight to Hell, is sponsored by Natural Light. We begin with a feud that started over DM. Not Boogeyman here is feuding with someone who still wears a Punisher shirt. I can already tell this will be wholesome. Insulting the devil’s mother. Listing devil’s of the past, okay this was the funniest part of the show. There’s a Natural Light belt because of course there is, they have to get their money’s worth.
The Devil vs Dylan Bostic.
Who is the devil’s number one fan? Jimmy Jacobs? Jason Mantzoukas? There’s a picture in picture for the announcers. Gotta make sure to have McAfee on screen at all times. “It looks like a man painted his body red.” Are we trying? This is also a casket match, that bit of information came out a bit late. The announcer with the bad Oklahoma impression is awful. “The devil’s horn” is a euphemism I’m shocked I haven’t said before. Dylan is distracted by the Devil’s fan, hope Dylan never wrestles in Jersey. Good roll the dice move by the devil. Now he has a chair. There are no rules in OCW, again, a bit late to throw that fact in. The Easter Bunny comes out. What in the hell? The Easter Bunny attacks Dylan. “They’ve been working together since the beginning.” Jesus Christ comes out and heels Dylan. Dylan Hulks/Jesus’s up. Dylan almost knocks Jesus off the ring. Jesus tells Dylan to get on the scissor lift, and raises him to the heavens. Dylan splashes the Devil, the Easter Bunny, and the referee from “80 feet in the air”. Dylan super kicks the Devil into the casket and Jesus closes the lid.
Mamma’s Dinner Table Match
I don’t know what episode this was in the larger season order and I don’t care. McAfee has 1.42 million subscribers for this channel and this video has 8000 views. That’s a big drop off and says a lot about the quality of what he’s putting out.
Test Tube Baby cuts a promo. There’s an interview in the bathroom. WTF is this song? Dylan’s mom actually isn’t too shabby.
Test Tube Baby vs Dylan Bostik.
This makes StrangleMania look like fine art. So the blonde guy with the good body, and a family, and a title, is the face going against the “freak” who is trying his best to survive. The table is full of fried chicken and biscuits, I take another look sat Dylan’s mom, and I have to assume there’s some -isms going on here. This whole match, the fans, all of it, is full of C+ energy. The energy of a jock trying to write a book report. Of course he was a kicker.
No pins, must put your opponent through the table. Test Tube Baby is a biter. Reversal after reversal in front of the glorified living room entertainment center they call a stage. Test Tube Baby goes for Dylan’s mom. She kicks him in the nuts. Dylan tosses Test Tube Baby off the “stage” through the table. I’ve seen stronger wood in a pinewood derby.
I just got done watching GLOW with two of my best friends. I have been making immature jokes for months. But this is another level. This is immaturity without any intelligence. It’s just dumb. It makes me think less of McAfee. This isn’t a love letter to wrestling. This is an excuse to make people think he’s cool and make fun of things he doesn’t like. I’m not offended by the religion jokes, but that’s your first episode? Build something up before going there. And Test Tube Baby just made me feel bad.
Depending on where you were on the high school totem pole, this is either everything and everyone you hated; or this is the clubhouse for people who have daddies that can get them out of a statutory charge.