At Odds with Wrestling Homework: Chikara Zelda the Great.

I have to imagine this event name is a GLOW reference.

Once again the At Odds with Wrestling podcast has a homework assignment and I as the unwanted third man in the booth provide my own take on the show before a new episode is live later tonight. 

This show took place November 10, 2012 in Chicago. 

The video begins with Gavin Loudspeaker in the ring singing a Chikara themed version of “Just What I Needed”. 

Da Soul Touchaz vs The Batiri (with Ophidian).

Soulja Boy? Wow I haven’t heard that song in… apparently 9 years. The Batiri tear up a picture of Obama to play the heel roles against the Chicago crowd. And that is the only reason. Because they’re in Chicago. The Soul Touchaz have their own commentator? Why are these guys only in Chicago and haven’t appeared in Chikara since the last Chicago show? Really great chemistry from DST. Big man with a 50 second delayed suplex. Now that’s a spot people should steal. The assisted second rope bomb was another great spot. Ophidian causes a distraction and Kobald comes off of the top with a Demon Toilet for the pin. If you’re going to have DST lose in their hometown, which makes sense against a longtime Chikara team, interference is the best way to go about it. 

Sidney Bakabella open opportunity. Wayne and Garth get destroyed by the Devastation Corporation. Super quick but fun match. 

El Generico vs The Shard. 

The Shard jumps Generico! What an amazing even back and forth match. No cheating. Two future stars. “This is awesome” chant and I couldn’t agree more. That chant is over used sometimes, but it is well deserved here. Top Turnbuckle brain buster and Generico gets the pin. This was one of the best Chikara matches in homework history. On the “go out of your way to watch” list. 

FIST vs The Swarm – Soldier Ant and DeviANT. 

The Ants aren’t getting along. There was some hysterical line of Icarus’s third grade art project followed up with “their work is already cut out for them!” Sugar is talking off the mic. Gavin disappears. Someone sounds like they’re eating candy. Odd moments on commentary here. The match isn’t bad, FIST is great, but the ANT story just dominates the match. Double team by FIST and Gargano pins Soldier Ant. 

Mike Quackenbush vs Colt Cabana. 

There’s a funny attempted kiss spot to start the match but Colt doesn’t need training. Great sequence where Colt has Quack trapped in a leg scissors but Colt also has to keep his shoulder off the mat so he doesn’t cause his own pinfall. Lot of unique moves in this match and not many comedy spots which is a 180 from last time we saw Colt in the ring for homework. Colt blows in Quack’s ear to break a hold! Yes, that’s still a comedy spot but that would work in any match and should be stolen by someone in 2021. Quack climbs up on to and jumps off of Colt’s shoulders but controls the wrist lock the entire time. Colt comes out of the corner and flips Quack, bridges up, cradles the leg, and Colt gets the pin to the shock of everyone! These two are tied with one win each so let’s see when the third takes place. 

Jigsaw, AssailANT, Fire Ant vs the Bravado Bros and Jimmy Jacobs. 

AssailANT is trying to wrestle an honorable style. Fire Ant doesn’t trust him and won’t tag. The Bravados double team and pin Fire Ant. There’s just too much ANT conflict on this show and that takes away from the matches. 

Tim Donst (with Jakob Hammermeier) vs Gran Akuma. 

Did Akuma tear his cape in half? Holy shit, it’s clicking. Tim and Jakob are doing Raven and Stevie Richards! I’ve thought and possibly said before that Donst is channelling Raven but the other half of that equation just came to light while I was watching this match. Donst dives onto Akuma into the chairs and Tim just takes an empty seat for a quick emo break. Jakob puts on Tim’s short and Donst rips it off. This gives Akuma time to recuperate. Jakob gives Donst a shoelace but Donst flips out over this. I think Jakob didn’t hand over the soon to be illegal object outside of the referee’s view. Donst smacks around Jakob for this oversight. Akuma hits this foot locked suplex from the top that looks like it increases the impact as Donst lands on the mat. Donst nails Akuma with a bag of something, possibly metal, and Akuma is out. Not a bad match at all but it’s all set up for an eventual Jakob vs Tim explosion. Hammermeier gets hit one more time on the way out. 

FIST – Icarus and Sugar Dunkerton vs Mr Touchdown and Dasher Hatfield vs 3.0 vs The Mysterious and Handsome Stranger and Sapphire. 

Hey, Veronica’s back! The music starts and Sugar and Jagged have a dance off. Scott Parker hits a spinaroonie. Great “this is awkward” chant. Sugar faces off against Dasher in a battle of the Throwbacks, but before it happens Icarus tags himself in. I love Dasher’s move where he hooks his opponent’s foot (Icarus in this case) inside of their own trunks. Icarus has to rope break on himself. Spots to the outside and Parker gently pushes Icarus out of the ring. Everyone is now on the outside but the Stranger and Mr Touchdown. The Stranger tags in Sapphire! Everyone crashes into the corner as Sapphire shows her (her?) strength. Stranger hits a Go to Sleep with a knee assist from Sapphire! Ear locks and noogies for everyone! Sapphire attacks Sugar’s hair. Sapphire gets a two count on Mr Touchdown! This match is crazy. 

Let’s pause here for a moment. When this show was assigned Joe said there is a character progression for the Mysterious and Handsome Stranger. I was thinking maybe unmasking. Or as soon as I saw Veronica, maybe reuniting. Nothing. Nothing could prepare me for what actually happened. If I had Adam’s number I would have texted him immediately. 

Mr Touchdown puts Sapphire into a bag and whips the bag into the mat repeatedly. He then splashes the bag, crushing Sapphire. This is the Chikara generation’s version of Earthquake squashing Damian. Everyone is horrified at Touchdown’s actions. The fans chant “you’re a monster”. Stranger sees the carnage and in Ralph Wiggum style his heart breaks on camera. Mr Touchdown takes advantage of this and pins the Stranger. Bryce sells the hell out of this moment. Sugar and Touchdown get into it. Sugar swings for TD and accidentally hits Dasher. Icarus taps out to Matthews’s Boston Crab. 3.0’s teamwork is too much and Matthews pins Touchdown. 3.0 celebrates while the Throwbacks leave and Veronica is caught giving Touchdown a very concerned and bothered look. 

The Spectral Envoy vs the Young Bucks (Campeonatos de Parejas) in a two out of three falls match. 

Did I hear a “Cinderella” chant? The Young Bucks go up 1-0 very quickly with a spike tombstone on Mantis. The second fall is all Bucks beating up Hallowicked while Mantis is recovering on the outside. The Spectral Envoy keeps pushing and refuses to give up. They out smart the Bucks and Hallowicked hits a Go to Sleepy Hollow to even it up 1-1. Now the Batiri comes out and attacks Hallowicked. Mantis hits a great electric chair and bridges into a pin but only for two. The Batiri attacks again. The Batiri are taken out twice by dives to the floor. Nick is about to tap but Ophidian sneaks in and spits mist into Mantis’s eyes. But even this only gets two! More Bang for Your Buck however is too much and the Bucks win 2-1. Really good match to end the show. 

I think Generico vs Shard was the best match on the card, but that’s a close one. There’s a lot of good story progression on this show and I’m excited for these feuds and upcoming cards. More so than say, Survivor Series.

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