Hello, and welcome to the column in which I try to guess what will happen at tonight’s pay per view. Not who I want to win, but who I think will win based on where I think stories will finish or continue after tonight’s show is over. This is going to be a long PPV and I don’t expect it to be over before midnight. I have my caffeine and a few hours before the show. So let’s get into this extensive card.
Pre show – Hook and Danhausen vs Tony Nese and Smart Mark Sterling.
Hookhausen was instantly over with the fans. This will be their first time teaming. Hook has yet to lose. It has to be Hookhausen for the win and I think the crowd will love it.
Kyle O’Reilly vs Darby Allin.
This match was just added on Friday, which might mean it’s not considered a premier match on this card. Darby wants revenge after Sting was taken out. I was leaning towards Darby but I think Kyle winning here, probably thanks to Bobby Fish, would lead to a tag match with a returning Sting that would be a better finale. Winner: Kyle.
Jade Cargill (TBS champion) vs Anna Jay.
Jade wins. I don’t know yet who will beat Jade, but it’s not Anna. Dakota Kai and Ember Moon are available. If AEW really wants to wait, a debuting Sasha Banks would be a great one to dethrone Jade.
The House of Black vs Death Triangle.
This feud is just starting and stopping too much. I am hoping this is the night for the Varsity Blondes to get involved, and Julia Hart finally turns. This is such a big event and I don’t see any reason for this story to keep going until the next PPV. House of Black wins.
American Top Team vs Frankie Kazarian, Sammy Guevarra, and Tay Conti.
PVZ should win her first match. Scorpio Sky needs to look strong. The fans really want Sammy and Tay to get their comeuppance. Again, all of this needs to end tonight and American Top Team gets the win. Probably with Paige pinning Tay.
The Hardyz vs The Young Bucks.
This is no longer an exciting match in 2022. There is no way the Hardys should win here. The Young Bucks win. Maybe there’s a nice moment at the end for handshakes or passing the torch or something. But the Hardys’ best days are in the past.
Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus (AEW tag team champions) vs Keith Lee and Swerve Strickland vs Ricky Starks and Powerhouse Hobbs.
Jurassic Express has a story and it is not with the tag titles. Team FTW has more than earned a run with these titles. Christian vs Jungle Boy is the next chapter, and losing the tag titles tonight will start that path. Taz’s boys get the win.
Jericho Appreciation Society vs Eddie Kingston, Santana, Ortiz, and the Blackpool Combat Club.
This is tough because I have a prediction for Eddie Kingston for the second half of the year. But how do we get there? The next AEW event is Forbidden Door, and that gives me the answer. Eddie’s team wins here. I’m thinking Eddie pins Jericho, but either way his team wins. Eddie will have a singles match against a New Japan star at Forbidden Door, and from there?
Samoa Joe vs Adam Cole in the Men’s Final of the Owen Hart tournament.
Dr Britt Baker vs Ruby Soho in the Women’s Final of the Owen Hart tournament.
Now, Britt and Adam winning would be cool and would make them absolutely insufferable on TV for the next few months. I would have no problem with that. But I’m leaning towards two people who were released by WWE and burned by that company being crowned the first winners for a tournament named after a man and his family who WWE hurt more than anyone else.
MJF vs Wardlow
Man, what is happening with MJF? At this point, there’s no way Wardlow doesn’t win. The only bonus I would hope for here is Wardlow’s new entrance music is “War Pigs”. The Black Sabbath version would be good, but I would love the Faith No More cover.
Thunder Rosa (AEW Women’s champion) vs Serena Deeb.
Serena Deeb is absolutely a force and a great wrestler, but this is Thunder Rosa. The most over woman on the roster. Busted her ass. Does everything for the company. A great face for not only AEW but all of women’s wrestling. She needs to hold this title a bit longer.
Adam Page (AEW World champion) vs CM Punk.
I think the seeds are there. I think all the hints have been coming out. It’s Memorial Day weekend. It is time for Summer of Punk III! Punk wins, turns heel, and the Summer will end with the rise and culmination of a career when Eddie Kingston beats Punk for the title.
Time to get in the car and go watch this show with my friends. Let me know your own guesses, and we’ll see how well I guessed.