It’s time for the latest homework assignment from the At Odds with Wrestling podcast. This week we all watched the latest AIW event, Gangsta Rap Made Me Do It. Some of us were live while others watched live on IWTV.
The theme of this evening is that there are no rules in any of the matches. I’ll be honest, I got to a point in the show where this stopped being a special thing. If everyone is Han Solo, then no one is Han Solo. If all matches are no rules then none of them are no rules. I needed something to take it to another level. Son of a bitch, when matches were more important and had to go to that next level they did. I ended up having matches I enjoyed more than others but there wasn’t a single match I didn’t enjoy. I really need to always have faith in AIW.
Katie Arquette vs Joseline Navarro.
I’ve been enjoying this story and feud over the last few months and this was a great way to start the show. Joseline sneaks through the crowd and puts a bag over Katie’s head before starting the beat down. There are so many weapons being used right from the start and this is just the first match. Tonight is going to be nuts. Joseline dropkicks Katie off of the apron and she crashes onto a student. Navarro powerbombs Katie onto chairs and the chairs split like the Red Sea. These two have amazing chemistry. Huge suplex and Katie wins. I was shocked but hopeful there will be more from these two.
Filthy Tom Lawlor vs Jackson Stone vs Twan Tucker vs Kaplan.
I wonder how anyone calls such a match. Not only because there are so many people involved, which I end up having trouble with. But also because I got so into watching this match I forgot to take any notes. This was just so crazy I didn’t snap out of it until Kaplan won. I blinked my eyes and realized for a moment I was transported and my spirit was in the building. Kaplan wins and then calls out Tim Donst and now I want to actually be in the building body and spirit for that one.
Casey Carrington (with Brian Carson) vs Dominic Garrini.
OMG Dom just destroyed Casey on the outside of the ring. Casey is busted open. Dom tosses Casey through a table which breaks in half. Dom’s chops are hurting me as I’m watching. This is all Dom until Brian Carson and Jackson Stone come out and beat up Dom then put Casey on top for the pin. Oh this is far from over.
Eric Taylor (with the Duke) vs Wes Barkley.
Duke hits Wes with the boot. This has potential to be a really great match. Wes is bleeding. Wes is about to go through a door but Shane Douglas comes out to make the save. This is now a tag team match! Wes and Eric brawl into the crowd. A switch is made and now Shane and Duke are fighting in the crowd. Tacks in the ring! They tease a Duke bump into the tacks but Duke reverses it and hits a spine buster on Wes into the tacks. Wes hits a crossbody frog splash driving Duke into the tacks. Wes puts Duke through the door to the floor. Shane puts tacks on a chair. Wes hits the Stroke on Taylor into the tacks covered chair for the pin. Wes and Shane get the win. Shane puts over Wes and puts over wrestling, but not sports entertainment.
#1 Contender match for the tag team titles:
Bulking Season vs Mane Event vs Members Only vs Jollyville Fuck Its.
Members Only get tossed out of the ring and it’s an all hoss show off. Nasty Russ has one hell of a moonsault. To pair with that, T-Money has a hell of a Pounce. Really great amount of near falls throughout this match. There’s no clear advantage or no clear winner. Chuck Stone’s big boy self hits coast to coast. Arthur makes the pin. Adam is celebrating. What a victory. PME comes out and attacks the Bulking Season. Chuck is handcuffed. Arthur is bleeding. This is going to be a great match.
Manders vs Isaiah Broner.
Just two big dudes smacking the shit out of each other. Nothing fancy. Nothing pretty. Two guys going to Mr. T’s restaurant and the only thing he’s serving is pain. Manders was so red I thought he should have his shell cracked open and then be dipped in butter. Broner hits a massive lariat to win. PB Smooth comes out to attack Broner and we have another amazing match set up.
Mikey Montgommery vs Uncle Chase vs Derek Dillinger vs Matt Cross vs Jack Evans vs Bandido.
I’m going to be all over the place because I watched this match twice. Bandido hits a German suplex through a chair that had me screaming WTF. Bandido press slams Derek which was an incredible feat of strength. Evans has an iconic and instant forever memory when he dives off the balcony. Derek destroys everyone, and he’s not even supposed to be in this match! Derek was added earlier in the day to this match. This may be a scramble but it is also a showcase of these various styles which are blending very well together. Derek throws Evans over the top to the floor onto Bandido. Mikey drop toeholds Derek into the ladder. Mikey then runs on the ladder to splash everyone on the floor. Derek is down but he’s also holding the ladder for Mikey’s spot. This was so well done and doesn’t take away the suspension of disbelief for wrestling. Evans sets up a spot. Derek catches him and chokeslams Evans off the top through a door. Mikey goes for a hurracanrana. Derek stuffs it. Derek with the Director’s Chair off the top and through a door then pins Mikey. Derek’s grabbing at his tailbone like he broke it. Bandido thanks his fellow wrestlers.
Josh Bishop vs Cardona’s Pick.
Matt Justice with Fonzie is out. But wait, there are two picks! Joey Janela is out too. This is already batshit and the match hasn’t started. Janela and Justice are not on the same page, despite both being Cardona’s picks. An unhinged Bishop throws everything he can find at Joey and Matt. Joey and Justice sandwich Bishop with chairs then start hitting each other. Justice runs a ladder into Bishop’s head and the camera angle is so gross. Justice throws the guard rail and holy shit Bishop catches it. Bishop powerbombs Joey onto the guardrail and Justice spears Bishop through a door. Justice splashes Joey and Bishop who are under the guardrail and a door. And they lift up all of it to kick out! Janela sets up a tower of chairs on the floor. Janella throws a chair across the ring and it wraps around Justice’s head. Bishop picks up Joey for a Samoan Drop. Justice spears Bishop. All three crash through the chair tower. Bishop is down and clutching his ankle. Justice brings out a probably 20 foot ladder. Bishop sets up another guard rail. Joey and Justice powerbomb Bishop onto the guardrail that is suspended between the ring and the crowd rail. Justice splashes Bishop onto the guardrail. Joey hits an elbow drop off the ladder and puts Bishop through a door. Bishop breaks part of the door over Justice. Bishop bombs Justice onto Joey and this is only a two. Justice takes a disgusting chair shot. OMG. Another. This is disgusting. I know I said that twice but I don’t have another word right now. Bishop powerbombs Justice onto a broken chair, which is broken from his head, for the pin.
Wow. I absolutely loved that. We’re not done yet, Derek comes out and attacks Bishop with the clapboard which is wrapped in barbed wire. Which can only mean one thing. Bishop will become Absolute and Intense champion, then have to defend those titles against Derek who will win and thus make Ziggy Haim the queen of AIW. Had she been at this event, I may have sent Adam some money to pick me up an autograph and 8×10. Hopefully Absolution is a future homework, but I’m already clearing my schedule for that evening.