The last time I felt this sick and had homework due, I had my mom call into the school and I laid on the couch all day. Probably still didn’t get the homework done despite the extra day. That said, today is Thursday and that means the weekly homework from the At Odds with Wrestling podcast is due. Each and every week without a major wrestling pay per view the hosts, Joe and Adam, alternate homework assignments from all corners of the wrestling universe. (Pretty sure I know what this week’s assignment will be.) This week we all watched Chikara’s Shoulder of Pallas taking place April 6, 2013 at WrestleCon.
First off we have a bit of bonus homework to watch the Chikara Event Center from April 4. There are promos from Hallowicked, Ultramantis, and Jigsaw. The most interesting part of the promo is hearing that Wink has declared the Chikara championship, currently held by Eddie Kingston, must be defended at every Chikara event.
The actual homework assignment is cherry picked matches but I went ahead and watched the whole thing.
Gavin Loudspeaker performs “You, Me, and Vince” which is a wrestling parody version of “We Didn’t Start the Fire.” Very creative and definitely popped the WrestleCon crowd. A crowd which is the largest in Chikara history.
Saturyne vs Kobald.
Kobald spears Saturyne from the jump! Kobald is earning every bit of his heel heat but Saturyne will not give up. Kobald starts hitting John Cena signature moves to a chorus of boos. He just tosses Saturyne around with ease. She floats up and lands hard for the powerbomb. Saturyne begins her comeback and the moves look crisp. The crowd is into it. Kobald hits Royal Butterfly, the signature move of Saturyne’s trainer Sara Del Rey but only gets a two. Saturyne goes up and hits the 1-2-3 Kid moonsault for the pin. Really fun opener.
Devastation Corporation (with Sidney Bakabella) vs Batiri vs the Throwbacks vs the Spectral Envoy (Ultramantis Black and Blind Rage).
Mr Touchdown with an impressive leapfrog over Blaster McMassive. Blind Rage is someone who usually works without a mask, right? Blaster hits a huge tope on everyone. Touchdown grabs his helmet but Dasher stops him. They get squashed by Devastation. Dasher gets pinned. Mantis sneaks in and rolls up Blaster for the pin. Batiri hits double knees on Blind for the pin. The Batiri are the last team standing. Sugar comes out to check on Dasher. Touchdown pushes away Sugar and refuses his help.
Amasis vs Ophidian.
Ophidian is brought out in a wheelchair. Ophidian gets in the ring and starts to talk and walk around Amasis, hypnotizing him. But wait, he isn’t! Ophidian is not cleared. Kobald runs out and Amasis takes him out.The Batiri comes out and it’s now a four on one attack. Ophidian breaks one of his crutches over Amasis’s back. Ophidian gets his venom ready. Amasis strikes back but he’s beaten down again. So is the venom gone? Will it affect Ophidian? Amasis chases them to the back.
FIST vs Gran Akuma, 3.0, and Marty Jannety.
Sugar Dunkerton is having fun. The Kid n’ Play! Johnny Garagano comes in and shuts it down. Icarus removes his jacket but his “hero” Marty Jannety begs him to put it back on and he complies. Everyone gets suplexed except for Marty. Sugar won’t suplex the legend. Sugar and Marty dance. Marty snaps Sugar down. We get a head scissors centipede. Daddy Magic turns them all over for a Boston Crab! Icarus chokes out Akuma with a rope hidden in his tights but the spot is over quickly and never comes back. Bryce hits a head scissors takedown! Gargano and Taylor have some amazing moments in this match. Sugar holds Akuma, Gargano goes for a kick, Akuma moves and Gargano says screw it then kicks Sugar anyways. Gargano with a low blow to Marty. Icarus is pissed off at his teammate and shoves Gargano down. Akuma kicks Icarus into Gargano. Icarus takes Akuma down and locks on the Chikara Special for the win.
FIST fights with each other. Icarus says Sugar is part of FIST. This is going to be good when it explodes.
Tim Donst and new look Veronica cut a promo. Jakob shows up with a haircut and a new mascot for Donst – Steve the Turtle.
Tim Donst (with Biker Veronica, Jakob Hammermeier, and Steve the Turtle) vs Archibald Peck.
I agree with Mantis’s commentary, Donst’s offense is very Cactus Jack tonight. Donst with a death valley driver off the top. Archie with a great Northern Lights Suplex into the turnbuckle. New Move! But Archie only gets a two count. Archie hits a diving headbutt and gets the three. I was honestly shocked. Gavin gets on the mic and begs Jakob and now Steve to wake up and get away from Donst. He wants the lackeys to stand up for themselves. Jakob defends Tim. Donst attacks Gavin. Donst grabs scissors and cuts off a lock of Gavin’s hair. Donst attacks again but stops short and the lesson to Gavin that Tim could hurt him anytime is far worse than actually hurting him.
Wink comes out for this next match.
Soldier Ant & The Colony Xtreme Force (Arctic Rescue Ant, Missile Assault Ant & Orbit Adventure Ant) vs The Colony (assailANT, Fire Ant & Green Ant) & Frightmare.
Wink crowns the Colony Xtreme Force as the winners of the 2011 King of Trios. The episode in which Xtreme Force debuted was not part of homework but I am loving this. So over the top. As a child of the 80s and not grown up in the 90s I bought all the variations for GI Joe, Batman, and X-Men figures so this is hilarious. Arctic skiing while he puts on a leg lock is too funny. Xtreme Force puts Fire Ant into the buckle and I can’t read my notes (super shake up?) but I was amused. Xtreme Force keeps going for Fire Ant’s mask. Soldier Ant jumps in to stop them every time. Orbit Ant responds by tossing Soldier out of the ring. Missile rips off Frightmare’s mask and gets the quick roll up pin. There is tons of heat following this. Soldier Ant walks away from his “team”. There’s stuff similar to Gekido here, but more goofy and less invasive.
Hallowicked vs Eddie Kingston (Chikara Grand Champion).
Eddie’s hand is taped up (this seems to happen a lot). Is Eddie the heel here? Yeah, despite previous matches and the long story he’s the heel in this match. Eddie with a chinlock and the fans rally behind Hallowicked. Eddie hits the Backfist to the Future but it’s with the injured hand. He drops down in pain and can’t make the pin. I just noticed Wink is still at ringside. Eddie catches Wicked coming off the top and hits an Ace Crusher. Eddie with a sliding elbow into the back of Hallowicked’s head but only gets a two count. Wicked responds with a Go to Sleepy Hollow and follows it up with a Yakuza Kick but this is also for two. Wicked unwraps Eddie’s injured hand and is trying to get the tap out victory. There’s another Sleepy Hollow attempt but Eddie responds with a suplex and a backfist with the other hand and gets the three. Wink throws the title onto Eddie. (Did he earn respect? Or is it out of frustration?) Eddie makes some friends in the crowd.
Jigsaw and the Shard vs Mike Quackenbush and ???.
As soon as Quack comes out, so does his partner, and it’s Jushin “Thunder” Liger. I would have enjoyed a more dramatic reveal but as soon as the fans in attendance saw Mike’s gear they would have known. “Thunder and Lightning”. Beautiful Asai moonsault by Quack. Liger is doing all of his greatest hits. Jigsaw with a top rope stomp onto Quack’s recently surgically repaired back. The heels are in control and the story is the beating Mike’s back is taking. Quack gets knocked down but bridges back up with a headbutt. Mike is purposely not rolling out of the ring to force the tag, because the hot tag to Liger is more dramatic. Quack flips and ties up his opponent then the aforementioned hot tag to Liger. If he can do all that, why did he have to tag? Further on, Jigsaw hits two buckle bomb variations and Jig and Tonic on Quack but still only gets two. Liger with a super brain buster on Jigsaw for the pin. Mike shakes hands with fans on the way out. A fan shoves an envelope into his chest. What will this mean?
Really fun show with a hot crowd. Chikara is building up to an IPPV and I can’t wait to see where these stories go.